Panic Button

16 10 2009

A friend of mine wrote this morning and said she was feeling desparate.  Wow, I can relate to that.  I’m feeling panic and terror, and have been experiencing a huge ongoing anxiety attack.

I am excellent at creating drama in my head, that may or may not ever materialize.

I run around in the control room in my head and push the big red button labelled Panic.  Alarms go off paperwork gets spilled the coffee pot sprays everywhere and I run around in circles.  In one of my laps around the control room in my head this morning after reading my friends email who is feeling desparate I tripped over a Buddha.  What???

Yeah go figure a buddha in my control room when I am busy having an anxiety attack.  What the???

So any way this buddha whispers something like, George, go push the Calm button.

I can’t I scream as I get up and run into another chair and going flying.

But George, it takes just as much or less energy to push the calm button as it does to push the panic button.

Hmph.  I ignore this guy smash the panic button, more alarms, chaos, and another lap around my  mind reviewing everything I am screaming about.

But this time around I trip and accidentaly hit the calm button instead of the panic button.  As I fall I notice my legs cross my back goes straight and I start slowly breathing.  Before my eye close I manage to look over and spot the Buddha with an odd smile on his face and his hand looks like he just flicked something.

Before I know it my eyes are closed I’m slowing breathing.  1,2,3, breathing in, pause, 1,2,3, breathing out.  A kitchen timer appears before me set for 10 minutes and I’m grateful because my mind pays attention to the tick tick tick.  But then a c.d. player starts putting out ocean surf sounds…

20 mins later, my eyes slowly open, and I hear a small voice this time from inside me say.

“What if all is truly well?”

“What if spirit really is in charge?”

“What if I live in an abundant universe that is conspiring to help me at all times?”

I get up walk over to the Buddha, smile, and go about my day.




One response

17 10 2009

I worked with a fabulous coach who explained to me that there is actually a choice when something scary happens – it is possible and just fine to sit down and get calm before taking action. What a revelation.

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