huge know, BIGGER YES!

12 01 2015

IMG_5643From time to time in this journey I’ve chosen big knows, sometimes planned sometimes not. Either way, I check in with silence over time to sense the choice, to trust intuition. Was this or that let go a hell yes or no. Sometimes it’s a partial, and years go by before I feel the bigger yes redemption. Family drama, place of upbringing, drugs, alcohol, jobs, friends, plans, possibilities, ego convictions etc fall in this time sand…

The stepping away point is often a huge bipolar wave wash for me, especially if it was unplanned, dramatic.

And yet, over time, intuitive redemption, a deeper, calmer, slower simpler truth, a bigger ahh awakening, bubble up from the depths of time.

Sometimes I try to force the healing, sometimes I’ve stepped back in for a redo of previous untruth illusions. Usually disastrous re-runs, with even messier endings ensue.

IMG_5457Truth can be evaded, run from, delayed, ignored, temporarily pacified with distraction, yet truth is.

While integration, redemption, intuitive visions may not always be easy to be patient for, it can be incredibly eerily calm, and strengthening when they do arrive.

Please trust your calm intuitive bipolar visions, for me, they have always led, to a much bigger deeper quieter, yes.

Advertisements




Pay Attention

4 01 2015

IMG_5901These two words used to scare me as a child, I would often lose interest in the current drama of the moment, or be internally fascinated by new ideas, different points of view, usually contrary to a majority of people making decisions. I would often drift, when I had enough, or just needed a pause button.

Pay Attention, used to be a siren call/judgement handed down when I wasn’t being present to someone else’s 24/7 crisis.

I”m good at drama, really good, just wind me up and watch me go, but honestly, I prefer sipping details i’m usually unaware of;
dry leaves, skin moisture, shifting light in familiar landscapes, knowing the current temperature range from the sound of bug buzzes in the tropics or tone of squeak from boots on really cold snow in the arctic.

Bigger than that, if I allow attention to drift into these less headline areas it usually coincides with insights, which lead to healing, which leads to less generated drama.
When I’m in drama, it’s all about the drama, and paying attention to minutia is the least likely action, yet the drip off a leaf, focussing intensely for a moment on any organic item or picture, can sometimes/often, shift into big picture drift. It’s the magic of attention. Do I choose impending drama doom or fascination and openings today?





A Course In Miracles

3 01 2015

It’s time to admit my latest sneaky technique of wiggling past my obstructive ego. I’m cheating and benefiting from it. In order to figure out how to complete the other parts IMG_5898of my audio book I decided to purchase and listen to a few of them. I got a copy of A Course In Miracles, which I have tried and failed for 20 years to read and complete, and yet so many teachers and books are based on it or use it as a core. Anyway, it was too sleepy for me to drive with so I put it on to listen to it at night when I have(correction/had) insomnia. Here is the sneaky part, ever since I play it when I’m ready to go sleep, I drift off a lot quicker, and when I do wake up, I listen as long as I can before I’m out again. I’ve been getting 7 to 8 hours of sleep a night for about a month now. I’m not sure what the rest of the course is about, but that’s a big miracle for me.

Here is the double sneaky part. It’s having an affect on my waking hours as well. Out of curiosity of what I was downloading to my subconscious every night I went ahead and got an electronic copy of the book to read as well as redownloading an ap I tried years ago with the daily lessons.

AND, I’m kinda sorta doing them, yes I know it’s all wrong and breaking the rules of the course, but yet and, I’m feeling progress.

I’m questioning my angers and judgments. Rethinking my misperceptions, and contemplating more in depth questions than I have in a long time, and appreciating this process very much.

And even though my ego continues to freak out judge, etc, I’m gently moving forward anyway, I figure who cares if I do it right or get it right, whatever that is. What if I gently skim thru, pick up what benefits I can, and then cycle thru again. It’s what I’ve done with all of my favorite metaphysical texts over the years.

Today I read about shame and judgement. Wow, that was a shot between the third eye. Big tears, moment of growth, yet grateful. What I actually read, or maybe even heard last night was about guilt and responsibility, how they are connected. By chance I read ;Alan Cohens, “A Deep Breathe of Life “ April 19th. He always explains it with language and metaphors I can understand and begin applying in my day.

Tis the season for spiritual growth in the dark, wether we run to or from it.
Happy New Year
George








%d bloggers like this: