Deep Journeys

13 04 2012

I feel.


When there is a disturbance in the bottom of my ocean which authentically rises to the now, I allow.

“oh no that’s bad you’ll feel uncomfortable and dark and be difficult to be around and I can’t fix you and you can’t fix or distract me,”

“come back,   come back, be in the light.”

I feel,


I explore.

Recently completed a journey, emptying out past illusions feeling current rift and crack in my illusion of security.

It took time, patience lots of it.  I didn’t understand it, have words, non verbal.  Deep, deep work.

I’m back in world of clock and work, obligations, I’ve honored the deep waters of soul and now must plunge into the daily reality of providing food shelter and water for the body temple.

This is life.

Some of us dive deep with no explanation even we can provide.

Here’s the good.

Wow, I felt agony.  Tears, etc.

I allowed enough time and space to uncompress solidified energy that had no words to come out and breathe in the sunshine.

I discovered again the gentle pace of soul, not the artificial pace of current culture.

Back in the world I wonder did I do any good allowing the time to breathe and feel the agony which chose to surface during my quiet time.

Unequivocally yes.  I feel a pressure inside me where a vacuum once existed.  I wouldn’t call it a positive pressure, but there is something now that I can relate to in a space deep inside I once abandoned unfelt pain.

I don’t know why I know this.  I just know I’m deeper, quieter, less fearful of being sucked into the black hole of disconnection.

I’ve also observed in the presence of anxious weary travelers, I feel less tension.  In the presence of antagonistic manipulating coworkers, I feel less triggered.

Operational theory:

By allowing my organic process to feel that which is real when I can, at a gentle a pace as possible, I fear less inside which I avoid, and less attraction or irritation to that which shows up in my immediate area.

Deep feelings,

they are not just for movies,

investigate your soul with gentle silence,



Soul Pace

9 04 2012

What is the pace of your soul?  What is the actual drama/information occurring in your immediate location that you can actually interact with in a manner that is of benefit?  Are you in your past or your future?  Are you in someone else’s head/life/drama?  Are you able to journey in the pace of your soul?

Are you able to pause in your business, and figure out where now is?

It’s amazing to me to reflect upon the actual drama trauma that occurs, in direct relationship to where I physically am, and how easily I can get lost in all units of time and lives other that the gentle slow steady pace of my soul.

When I flush all concept of “fixing” myself, getting better, growing, healing my past wounds, etc ad nauseam, and get busy with being where I am, listening and matching the actual pace of my soul, I witness the journey I’m actually on.

I grow, I change, I discover, I renew, and I let go, naturally.

My mind can easily get in the way.  Go faster, Go slower, stop, be elsewhere, what about that person or situation, what if this happens or that.

But meanwhile back in reality, breathe, body, today.  I’m living, breathing growing, irregardless, of my mind’s wanna be pace and journey.

I’m finishing up a 3 week sojourn with my insides.  No work, no fuss, no muss.  A rare commodity, for a self declared solo contemporary mystic, a miracle to pull off.   I‘ve been residing in my self sponsored personal sanitarium, acting in all of my roles as butler, housekeeping, administrator, attendant, patient, day trip organizer and driver, etc.

Wherever my soul needed to be, I did my best to food house, take care of but most importantly allow.  Whether it was catatonically drooling on my bed staring at the blue sky out my window, or kayaking with the dolphins.  Soul journeys are not always easy.  Some are filled with peace love and deep connection, some are deep undiscovered doors opening, and energy escaping in the light of day, rest, time, and allowing.

I know I haven’t figured it all out, did all I was “supposed” to do, or kept up with my minds plans.

But I did create space/time, and held off the pace of the world long enough to check in with my soul pace.  As I slip back into the stream of life, I will know my time of allowing has released much which I no longer needed to carry, and allowed soul space to fill with that it’s ready to actually create and receive.

In our current culture’s pace, convictions, addictions to information, drama, media, etc.  3 weeks journeys are rare, but I offer the gift of questions.  Do you allow yourself a moment of unscripted soul in your day.  Not a spiritual practice, class, or obligation, but a breath of soul.  If I can allow a moment to hear the gentle plodding footsteps of my soul, it’s much easier to create that which I’m truly ready for, and let go of that which is not real now.

Listen, your soul is breathing,


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