Truth Indicators

15 11 2011

It takes one to know one.

Please don’t get me wrong, I’m a bullshitter from way back.  My genetics taught me very well.  Teflon is actually a restriction.  The best part about being adept at bsing oneself, is cutting to the core when I’m done running away from the truth.  The best part about being on a path of discovery from victimhood mentality which is easily available and promoted in our culture to self-regulation and direction, is that it works.  Easy?  Nope.  Doable, yes.

I love the internal experience I’ve gained from firsthand betrayal and destruction of the illusions of ideality.  The journey from innocence, to possibility.  Real possibility.  Idealic, instant manifestations? Maybe for some.  Practical daily progress towards inner peace, connection with the greater intelligent unknown, or creation of tangible empirical realities, Yes.  Repeatable.

Unhappy?  Disillusioned?  Are you ready?  Are you really ready to take up the reigns of your own destiny and create what’s next, or are you still entertained/distracted by your mind’s current interpretation of the reality illusion you find your self dwelling in?

I’ll give myself an Oscar any day for being able to dramatize and dwell in unhappiness, but when I chose to dedicate 10 percent or even less of that energy, into using my magic wand in the form of a pencil or crayon, on good old fashioned back in the day paper, and let it pour out.  Wow!  Amazing results.  This is what I don’t like and am done with.  This is what I do like and want more of.  And this is what I do to distract myself from creating what is new, or appreciating what I already have.

Sometimes nothing needs to happen, but appreciation.  In this time of winter(can we officially declare that yet, the thermometer I walked past on the way to work indicated -20F, so I’ll say it’s official, we are in Silly Season).  Yup, that’s my official name for it.  It’s cold.  It’s dark.   And all around us I see opportunity to distract into negative whoa is me.  Hmm.  Real dangerous mental activity for a guy like me to entertain for very long.

So  l love to circle back to a daily routine that really works.  Read positive literature, pray, meditate, stretch my body, and dedicate 10 or more minutes on my next dream go-all.

This lines me up to see and act on truth, TODAY, in spite of my incredible capacity to create otherwise.

What do I chose to create today?

Big Hug,


Soul God

14 11 2011

“Clear your energy, Honor your rhythm, Live your vision.”  George Denslow, Living Out of Darkness.

Words.  I’ve been anti-words lately.  But they keep jumping into my head so this is an attempt to raddle some of them out and make more space to be.  Yup, just be.  It’s not a very active hobby but I must admit it is my favorite for the last couple of years.

First the war ended between my ears by finally accepting and allowing who I really am to be ok with me; A gentle, creative, intuitive, visionary, solo, contemplative lover of stillness, joy, and chillin out.

And then the strangest most unexpected thing happened.  I finally broke free of the mis-identity/diagnosis of bipolar.  Nope.  Not crazy.  Just real.  I’m a very real person, with little or no tolerance for bullshit, and high capacity to see energy and potential.  With an incredible skill set to interact and gently encourage people to live in and become their dreams if at all possible.

I quietly tackle the problem of International Relations, by focusing on internal relations.  Working on my own in the private undocumented sector, one person at a time, beginning with becoming who I really am first.

Of course you place a highly intuitive creative empathetic visionary in a crazy dysfunctional environment long enough.  We are going to blow out, be labeled, controlled, medicated, and homogenized if at all possible.

I’ve since learned/been blessed with a year of incredible conversations with a psychiatrist, one that I wasn’t legally forced to interact with or pay to go see.   How bizarre is that right?  20 plus years after being locked up by a shrink, and 20 years of finding my way back out, a friendship emerges from the same profession, to help me be released, internally, from what was obviously an attempt to control my reaction to prolonged stress, rather than an understanding of how a person such as myself could end up in such a predicament.

I should probably stop writing now, but once I’m on a truth roll, well, the rest is well documented.  Turns out, it’s easier for the medical/insurance/medication industry complex, to quickly diagnose a person as bipolar, and get someone on medication rather than to explore other possibilities.

Thank God, I was so ornery as to refuse meds, and find my own organic way out, even though it took many years.

Basically.  Here’s the deal.  Yes, there may be real bipolar people, who could benefit from professional conscious psychiatrists.  No, not all people diagnosed with bipolar, even though they are currently displaying bipolar behaviors, need to be permanently labeled as such.

If your professional help, is willing to explore the possibility of your own recovery from the inside out.  I highly recommend my book, Living Out of Darkness.  It’s available at Amazon,  as an itunes ap, through kindle, nook, etc.

Oh, back to the title.

Soul-the true source of your uniquetivity.

Uniquetivity-where your creativity, and only that which you can do meet.

God-the envelope in which your soul exists.

Soul God-the quickest most visceral interaction with God you can have, is thru your soul.

More later,

Feels good to let words splatter on the screen again.

Much love,


Hello World

7 11 2011


Plug plug charge.  Hmm.  Where is the on button on this walkman? (I’m having a retro ‘80s moment).  Ever since the guards at work upgraded their stereo, in which we could blast back to the time before smartphones internet and all the digital b.s. , yes I said it.  I’ve been in an unplugged mode.   I’m calling it a new spiritual practice for a digital age.   Go ahead, I double dog dare you.  Can you last a minute or more with out a digital fix????  That’s one side of the coin, often coated with judgments’ easily oozed from my mouth about “virtual” friends of “kids” now a days and how utterly clueless they are about being real.

Here is the newsflash.  I’m the idiot.

It’s amazing to have lived long enough to know there was a time before now.  Don’t get me wrong, I know these exact moments in which we are breathing are the good old days.  AND, some means of conducting life were actually good in the ‘80s.  Like our healthy way of dealing with the bullshit of life was loud doses of obnoxious rock and roll.  We weren’t nice, we didn’t poo poo meaness or sugar coat the reality of idiots getting more rights than the innocent.  If someone was innocent and getting trampled, we yelled or fought about it if we were of a mind to protect the innocent person or situation.

On the flip side, we never loved nourished and supported each other at an open mic.  My hat is off to the youth in Flagstaff Arizona.  Last Thursday I witnessed  a room full of young people, with acoustic guitars, guts, creativity, guts, and voices, guts, share their hearts, and being cheered no matter what the talent level was exhibited.

I admit it.  I’m not that far from the old fart category,  to some yes, to me not yet, but I’m very willing to embrace this if I get to wipe off my shit shelf of judging the next generation when I get the honor and privilege of witnessing them opening in public supporting each other.  I have a finely tuned nose for drugs, alcohol and general stupidity, my b.s. meter sprung a leak from inactivity.

And my amazement indicator broke the upper end of it’s scale.  There is a segment of the young adults on this planet who can unplug long enough to be creative, and support each other. Wow, hello world, HOPE.

We are going to be ok.  Please don’t focus on the dark crap in or out of your life.  Please seek the rays of hope wherever, however, they show up and embrace them.

Oh, and p.s.  I even got up on stage with my band and we played a song.  WHAT  A RUSH!!!!!  Do you need a new drug or healthy distraction between your ears.  Go to an alcohol free open mic, like the one at Sundara Tea House in Flagstaff Arizona on Thursday nights, and share your creativity.

So yes, I’ve been exploring the quiet reality of unplugged life while plugging into a music(my band now has an album for sale(another big joy bomb blasting in my current reality), soon to be on itunes, I’ll send a link as soon as it’s available.


Please be who you really are…

Because It helps me see who I really am..

When we are real together, guess what???

Better chance of not feeling or acting crazy, and maybe even making healthier choices.



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