Bubble Wrap

30 01 2016

Cavities occasionally yawn open in my emotions and the past overwhelms me. I’m constantly fascinated by so many things like brain plasticity studies positive parenting practices. Nature verse nurture, new age. As well as vacuuming stories from the media like a couple found star wars music calmed their baby. I also go thru long stretches with complete blissful internal ignorance. If I’m sleeping ok/good, and functioning in my daily life, I pretty much can forget their appears to be a bipolar wrecking ball in my head. So when I get deep into a functional “normal” groove, I forget my past, until a trigger arrives.

Bubble Wrap.

I gotta do a safety presentation at work tomorrow, and we recently had to tour a bunch of cubicle dwelling engineers-spatial genius/real life idiots thru our industrial multi life safety hazard work environment. Like grabbing their shoulder and pulling them back from a ladder when they suddenly decide to stop and take a note, 12 feet up, etc.

So I coined a new term for them. Bubble wrap specials, it will be the topic for the safety meeting.

Meanwhile, a calm moment going thru engineer manuals for an upcoming design review in their cubicle world next week, an emotional unhealed cavity erupted.

If I got nothing to say or write, I pretty much let life be.

But if something new stirs up, well, I’m bubbling it.

My experience with un healed past experiences, is to slow the roll, and feel it carefully, so as not to destroy my present good.

In the past, i’ve let the past toss the boat, blow up my day, make everyone(who is clueless) pay, etc.

So I felt it a bit, acknowledged oh yeah that’s a stinky mental emotional bomb, and bubbled it. Ok yeah, when my shift is done, the right moment arrives, I will ball my eyes out. I’ll come up with affirmations, gratitudes, reframes, the full meal deal.

What I don’t have to do, is shut everything down, blow everything out, cause mass chaos and compound the problem.

The reality is, my day is really good. I’m pretty lucky. I did survive a lot of darkness in my past, did it cause bipolar tendencies? Who knows. What matters is that my life is functional today, I am aware of how grateful I am, and I don’t have to keep destroying the fruit of my positive choices that have accumulated good things and experiences over time.

Today my tool for coping with ugliness is bubble wrap.

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