Shift Happens!

Shift Happened! At The Hapuna Beach Prince Hotel this week!

Alan Cohen’s Advanced Life Coaching Tribe gathered and created a lot of shift.
Good Shift. We shifted up, downloaded gems from teachers all over the world, and shared our life coaching skill sets with each other from all walks of life and geographic locations on the planet. And what a place to experience teachings, renewal, and to practice the life coaching skill set.

I haven’t experienced anything like this in over 5 years, and let’s just say my spiritual batteries disintegrated a bit back, yet somehow got me signed up, through my mind ego fear long enough to show up and participate. And I am so grateful!

Hawaii has a tradition of cities of refuge, for me, any Alan Cohen retreat, especially on the island of Hawaii, is just that.

If you are struggling with your spiritual connection and life “opportunities”, I could never recommend enough the need to connect with a spiritual tribe, and the chance to develop skill sets and connections with like minded individuals.

I can assure you, I never done it perfectly, become enlightened, left the darkness behind, but I have All WAYS, no matter how lost I’ve become in life, found renewal and hope. At times I’ve stayed connected, at times I’ve drifted, each develops a strength.

The biggest shift I received this week, was hope. It was also that which I needed the most.

Thank you Alan, and thank you Alan’s Tribe, for helping me seep back into light, again.

Bobble Heads

I got a new thing, I’m turning previous psychological control freaks who I’ve rented rooms for in my head into bobble heads. I wasn’t planning on this, it just sort of happened one day so I thought i would share it.
The more I slip into healthy high bipolar order, the more erosion occurs in original false info injected into my developmental psyche. Yes, I have a pretty erratic at times organic bipolar rhythm, yes I’m weird and goofy, talkative /silent, etc., the usual bipolar fair, and, continuing to discover and release, other people’s crap, injected into my head at impressionable ages, is incredibly healing.

Years ago I heard a television interview with a Hollywood star at the time who had survived early childhood trauma drama as well. Her enlightened reframe was that is was good, because early trauma survived and eventually integrated and healed can be a foundation for thriving. I’m finding this to be true. I’ve chugged along like a freight train for years, healthy daily routines, and habits to the best of my ability which is always fluctuating and doesn’t appear to be much at times, and been grateful for whatever peaceful moments, interactions, I can experience or share. So when I experience really good times like I am now, it’s like being on acid. I’m in high speed, yet somehow still functioning, and the learning curve is doubling down on healthy habits and figuring out healthy discharge for good energy. I visualize copious amounts of healing energy into the atmosphere available to whoever is willing to receive, and I feel calmer.

Off topic, anyway. I never expected to be able to see the other side of major perpetrators in my life. I always thought they would live in my head as monsters, and continue to have negative affects on my choices, reactions to stress, etc. Yet, as I experience their end game decisions, diminishing influence on other peoples lives, I’m feeling a release. May good bless them for the humans that they were, and my good bless them wherever they end up next. Thank God, I’m finally feeling forgiveness in my heart for them, and feeling the erosion of their psychic influence over me. Bobble heads yep, in my cartoon minds eye, they are now bobble heads in high chairs, adult heads filled with childish misinformed fears, in baby bodies, being fed and taken care of as they finish out their days.

May we all live thrive long enough to witness the cycle of life, erode previous monsters into bobble-heads.

Pay Attention

These two words used to scare me as a child, I would often lose interest in the current drama of the moment, or be internally fascinated by new ideas, different points of view, usually contrary to a majority of people making decisions. I would often drift, when I had enough, or just needed a pause button.

Pay Attention, used to be a siren call/judgement handed down when I wasn’t being present to someone else’s 24/7 crisis.

I”m good at drama, really good, just wind me up and watch me go, but honestly, I prefer sipping details i’m usually unaware of;
dry leaves, skin moisture, shifting light in familiar landscapes, knowing the current temperature range from the sound of bug buzzes in the tropics or tone of squeak from boots on really cold snow in the arctic.

Bigger than that, if I allow attention to drift into these less headline areas it usually coincides with insights, which lead to healing, which leads to less generated drama.
When I’m in drama, it’s all about the drama, and paying attention to minutia is the least likely action, yet the drip off a leaf, focussing intensely for a moment on any organic item or picture, can sometimes/often, shift into big picture drift. It’s the magic of attention. Do I choose impending drama doom or fascination and openings today?

Energy Up Batman!

Up turn here Clyde.  Slow, weather, bed, warm, ahh.  Alert Alert Alert.

Slippy time is hear to see and say, nope, I chose active.  Natural rhythm weather easy slow deep empathy cycle recharge, but nopes me choose active.

change music to pop track, move move move, remote robotic control if necessary.

“With vision, you have a reason to live through the low times and a motivation for getting out of bed, taking excellent care of yourself even when you don’t want to, and the joy of bringing something beautiful into the world.” pg 51, Living Out of Darkness.

While my mental insides may be processing all input from spring summer soul growth harvest, I do not have to let my feelings rule/control my body.  Keeping my body active, while my emotions are turbulent, this time of year is important.   I do allow moments of sitting but it’s a slippery slope for me.

Staying in touch with my inner empathy and grief is important, because I never know who it may be connected with or what is ready to heal.  Brief gentle following of thought thread can lead to a family or friend in quiet need, and a phone call or contact can help lift them up, and I feel good for having allowed/followed internal empathy intuition.  However, dwelling in unknown empathy, or tugging on the chords, can lead to unwanted helping of others, or bring both our energies down.  

Successfully passing thru this initial stage of winter, staying active, consciously empathetic, and rebooting positive daily routines, can lead to an enjoyable winter.  It’s also good for me to pick up mentally interesting and mystical books like the Tao Te Ching to help sort refresh eternal questions.

wiggle the hips jiggle the flab,

long way to spring people,

let’s MOVE!!

Meta-Who??

Metaphysics-the branch of philosophy that deals with the first principles of things, including abstract concepts such as being, knowing, substance, cause, identity, time, and space.

Metaphysics for me is the lifelong dedication to the study, and contemplation of the question why?.

Positive metaphysics for me is the dedication to what if there could be a positive inclination for why?.

Long before I had my first drink, I was always a strange child, and a strange child unknowingly dealing with intense drama, trauma, on a daily basis.

I always wandered off, any chance I could be alone, and still do.  In my solitude, I would always ask why, and contemplate positive possibilities until I felt ok and calm again, before heading back to my obligatory insanity called “family”.

So when drugs and alcohol came along, it was a no brainer, they took me much faster to not being impacted by questions.

Fortunately, I went down hard and fast at an early age, and was locked up.

Fortunately, several years later, I stumbled by accident into a 12 step group, and eventually found my way to sobriety.

About the same time, I followed a girlfriend into a positive metaphysical church.

By “coincidence”, the strange child I was, survived drugs, sobered, and found my way to other people and literature interested in why, and what if positive.

This lead to the study of mysticism, shamanism, eastern philosophies and understanding in positive terms my bipolar experience.

For me, it is all connected, of deep purpose and service.

20 years of sobriety later, I’m still strange, even more so, very much into solitary contemplation, and fortunately still wrapped up in the questions of why, and what if positive, with the added benefit of frequent fits of bliss and serenity.

George

Alaska Sisters, Rock!

My monthlong ordeal of fearing an event at work has passed.  THank God, and an awesome Alaska Sister!

I wish all of us could have a tough chick, REAL run/camp with wolves Ak sister.  In the heat of battle when my butt was kicked by day 1 of a 2 day from hell work event.  I called my sister.  She listened, encouraged, and then got to it.

You have a smartphone?

…yeah,?

download rocky theme,

?

go to treadmill and walk till you drop,

sleep,

wake up, do it again,

Yeah.  She saved my butt again.  Reminded me I’m human, a good person in-spite of current external events, and to pick my butt up and keep going forward, cause and she quoted me this time, “I’m too stupid to quit.”

I did.  Downloaded Rocky, stayed in motion till sleepy, got up at 3am when anxiety mind woke up, and got back on treadmill.  Second day went much better.

Bipolar Disorder Sucks!!!

Sisters, trusted loved ones, that I can call in times of need and otherwise, ROCK!

Life is guaranteed to continue kicking my butt from time to time.  I can either join in the fray of finishing me off with my own mind, or use it to reach out to someone more clear headed, to kick my whimpering butt back on track to deal with reality as it is happening.

I’ve run.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’ve quit and run screaming into the dark night 1,000 of times for years at a time, but so far, I’ve also picked my mind and body back up again, at least one more time, and kept going.

Bipolar Dis-Order SUCKS!!

Bipolar-Order, Rocks!

Day one my butt was kicked, I was as prepped as could be but became overwhelmed.

Day two, with the night time ring side coaching by AK Sister, Bipolar Order, kicked in.  Because my mind did it’s thing in hyper mode all night, I probably analyzed the situation at a far superior rate than a “normal” mind.  Came up with a plan, and executed it perfectly.

We can choose to cooperate, nurture, support, protect, our wonderful Lamborghini Brains, or assist in their self destruction.

I know not all people on the planet are able to have 100% Alaska Sister in their corner of their mental boxing ring, but it sure would solve a lot of problems.

Chin up,

George

Tipping Point

 

I have tea with my inner demons, occasionally.   Do I encourage and believe in them on a daily basis?  No.  Do I acknowledge their existence and power over me?   I try not to.  Do I accept that they exist and allow them free reign from time to time to illustrate their absurdity, yes.

And here is why.  The other day they stormed my internal positive buoyancy and won.  I curled up in a ball and hid, and believed in them like I used to.  Maybe they were right.

Guess what?  The day passed, and the sun came up again.  Internally in the back of my mind all the positive seeds, I had patiently planted over the years, sprouted again, and worked through all the current negativity from positive viewpoints, and the new day, bounced me back to ok, naturally.

When I began my internal journey, I was 99 to 110 percent of the time convinced that I was a useless horrible person, this was the end result of my life experience up to that point, and I had plenty of external proof and opinion of others to support that theory.

It was vital that I believed in something external of me called hope, that all could be well, and I could at some point be connected with something positive other then the dark vacuum that I was.  I held on to hope, positive mental thinking, candles, prayer, yoga, exercise, spiritual retreats, self-help books, anything and everything I could to keep me going through the majority of time when I believed in absolutely nothing but hopeless dreary existence.  I figured even if all the spiritual stuff I was reading and doing was wrong, an occasional glimmer of hope, was a reprieve from the usual cast of demons parading around in my interior scape keeping me bound to lack.

Even now writing this I can feel the all too creepy familiarity of self doubt seep back in. Wow.

Along the way of believing and taking positive actions, something strange happened.  Bit by bit, I started to have moments of feeling ok.  These bits over time began to increase in frequency and coagulate into moments and days.

Eventually, positive buoyancy occurred in my internal vacuum.  The dark thoughts would come…and bounce off and away, from an internalized positive belief system.

What a miracle.  What a discovery, I was actually a good person on the inside.  It was true hope at last.

This is why I believe anyone, anywhere, at anytime, can begin, and experience a journey to their own unique source of good, which is who they already are.

I believe in you, because for several years now, I finally believe in me, from the inside out.

Be you,

George

What if?

I felt a chunk of my inner iceberg melt the other day.

What if I’m actually a peaceful still person and always have been?

What if people really have seen the inner me reflect through my inner darkness?

What if the extreme swings inside me are just a defensive mental reaction to compensate for the illusion of scarcity?

What if my bursts of anger are actually a surge of injustice when my outer world has not reflected my inner world of peace and stillness?

What if my last two years of sitting in stillness whenever possible has actually rebooted the being that I am?

What if I at last I can be the me that I am?

What if it is possible to relax into what I naturally am, a person obsessed with stillness, allowing the threads of peace to weave thru me, seeping into the ahh of inner soul connection expression?

What if I am the person I always immerge from my caves as, a positive minded happy soul?

What if all the crap I’ve created in my life, is just a reflection of the illusion of scarcity and chaos I’ve let myself collapse into in times of overwhelm?

What if I allow myself to continue this path of stillness and joy?

What if I could receive from this place of inner being, what if I could be rewarded for dwelling here, hearing the threads of peace re weave as needed?  What if I were truly able to let go of those I allow to trigger me, or I allow to suck the light out of me, or allow to be chaos long enough that I believe in their current illusion and make it my own?

What if I’m actually a functional being of stillness, light and joy, as naturally as breathing?

What if I’ve always been this way?

What if life truly is this easy?

What if this journey to my stillness, is the strength I desire to be stillness?

What if my distractions from inner peace have actually been this huge map of life and all the dressed up versions of illusions have led me back to the place I chose first as a child?

What if my intimate familiarity with all the illusion rides of scarcity in life have led me to be an inner peace guide?

What if bipolar is a very inclusive ride, to learn about ADD, PTSD, Depression, mania, etc etc etc, so that I could teach stillness from the inside out for the rest of my life in the ease of being me?

What if this huge illusion of bipolar disorder, manic depression, is just a childhood brain adjustment for dealing with vision and empathy of better times, created by an active imagination?

What if all the ways out of my inner hell, are all the ways I can teach anyone interested in their ease, with any size of bump or vision, become again who they really already are?

What if?

George

Seed Speed

Lately I’ve been giving myself a lot of shit lately about my speed.  If I’m so blah blah blah, than why am I not XYZ.  Breathe, George, breathe.  Ahh, better, I’ve been having one of those mornings.

So that’s nice George what have you been being about it and why are you sharing this?

Because by allowing myself to be in the dark side of my moon mind, and allowing myself to be authentically growling while growing through the motions of being “spiritual”, drinking coffee(I consider 100% Kona coffee consumption a sacred time honored ritual), writing in journal all the crap floating in my head(ok so maybe falling asleep having the current drama tv show staring at me is not “spiritual”), and reading this new awesome book in my life, Spiritual Currency, by Fred Chui, breathe(apologies for run on mind flow sentences)(I’m getting to the point here).  Because of the dark side of my moon this morning, I’m arriving at an okness about me.  This is my gift to myself for allowing my current “real self” and “spiritual self” attempt to communicate with each other this AM.

After further spiritual study and the usual OMG I’ve done it all wrong self-judgment phase filtered thru I was able to soothe myself from my “spiritual” studies by playing guitar for awhile (probably the most spiritual thing I’ve done today).

I was still physically anxious and active so I tripped over my dumbbells and since I was feeling like one I decided to lift them for awhile, and then I got distracted by a mess on my paperwork table and saw an image of a treasure map idea to put on my treasure map wall(I’ve given up on small pieces of cardboard artistically arranged pieces of art) I just see image; copy, cut or rip, staple, WHAM, wall.  ADD?, yes.

Wall.

Hmm.

I’m using a wall, large wall, one of many, to create a treasure map.  (Basic prosperity exercise, collect images you desire or uplift you of activities, things, and or experiences you would like to manifest, and create a collage to look at and help you create what you want next in your life.)

Let’s back track here.

15 years ago I was using the dashboard of my residency for a treasure map/altar of my “studio” while going through the Artist Way with Julie Cameron.  It was a 1983 used dodge colt hatchback (very small compact car).

Now I’m using a wall.

It would appear the inside of my seed.(living space representing inside of my head), is bigger.

If following the prosperity principles while living in a tiny car, have lead to living in a huge space, than maybe this stuff is real.

Maybe I’m not in the ideal soul flow I want to be in, but thank God I’m not satisfied yet, and I’m striving for more.  Maybe my seed is not speeding along and accomplishing like I think I should, maybe my life is happening exactly as it needs to.

Even if I haven’t manifested the “perfect” income source, at least I’ve manifested income.  Maybe I haven’t learned bipolar financial management, but at least I’m still willing to be in the game.  (I still get to be my own attendant/patient/manager of my own asylum/home/life)

Maybe life is not about the speed of my seed, maybe life is about laughing at my ridiculousness, and enjoying what is, with a delicious cup of Kona.

Thank you universe for the current lessons I’m obsessing about, and the physical comfort and lifestyle I get to dance it with.

Life,

George

 

Vision Calling

We now interrupt our regular programming to let you know about visions.  It is vital.  End of message.  Did you “get” it?

Recently I’ve been dancing with body healing opportunities in my life, and living the “IF” question.  If you only had…  Fortunately it was only my mind and not my physical body that was convinced something disastrous was happening.  But it worked.  My mind freaking out really rebooted my vision.  My mind freaking out really rebooted my spiritual practices.  My mind freaking out really rebooted all the important questions in life.  Who am I?  What am I being?  Why?

Thank LOVE.  (I’ve connected with some really cool people on my healing journey as of late and decided to call the concept we know and refer to as GOD, back to what I see as a more true and original word of the concept; LOVE.)

Where was I?

Thank LOVE(GOD).  That my mind has been busy freakin out over turning rocks cleaning dusty corners and motivating me to re-deepen my well examined life.

And guess what?

I’m a dreamer, a visionary, an artist, a poet, and a believer in good possibilities.  I gotta say this feeeeels soooo good.  For many years a primary question in my day and re-focal point has been.  If I only had 10 minutes today, what is the most important thing I can focus on?

With this focus point of 10 minutes, I’ve been able to connect with and work on my visions, and bring a few to reality such as my book; Living Out Of Darkness.  I share with you now how incredibly comforting it is to face potential physical scenarios in ones life, and know, hold in hand, an accomplished reason for one’s existence, and a sense of relief for having fulfilled vision calling.

How dare I for so many years challenge the beliefs around bipolar disorder and manic depression, how dare I collect my discoveries, trials, and joys in a book? How dare I build my own field of dreams with my resources to hack a path through the jungle of darkness in my own mind, so that those who may be curious if there is another way, they can laugh, cry, and hope they might find a way as well?

How dare I not?

Visions are vital.  10 minutes a day on my current vision focal point are as necessary as breathing for me.  My ten minutes are the most sacred of my day because they keep offering up my insides out, and appear to keep affecting and creating in my life the most good, and the most sincere rewarding connection with others.

Please, please, please, share your visions with us.  Visions light our souls, and connect our souls.  Visions brighten our day, and improve the quality of life for those who follow.

And if you have no vision, please know I pray with you, and beg you to give yourself 10 minutes a day of sacred time and space in your life to sit and listen to your soul until your body leaps into action from an irresistible urge to LIVE.

Luv yous,

George