Uniqutivity

7 03 2010

“I do not need to prove myself to anyone or change to fit others expectations.”  Alan Cohen, A Daily Dose of Sanity, March 7th.

Can I have an Amen to Alan Cohen today?

“…have faith in yourself and your process.  Then you will not have to tremble before God, for God will embrace you right where you stand.” , Alan Cohen, A Daily Dose of Sanity, March 7th.

Unique/Creativity= Uniqutivity.  It’s a new word day!

After they finished breaking the mold that I was brewed in they didn’t bother making a form that I could fit back into, THANK GOD!!

Here here for unique individuals that dare roam this earth seeking paths, which a byproduct is other’s cause to pause and reflect on the box.  Is there a box?  Box?  What box?

It is sheer determination to be me, no matter what, that has led me into, out of, and through so many challenges in life, and come up with so many unique solutions.  It is also what bonded me so closely to positive metaphysics when I discovered them from Alan Cohen and Unity, so many years ago.  I knew something was haywire in my brain, but I also had a belief in myself that I was this way for a reason.  It was through spiritual teachers like Alan that cheered me on in person and through written word that I was able to discover, hey guess what???  Newsflash:  Bipolar can actually be an incredible life altering ongoing daily spiritual journey.  Yes, drop the dis-order, seek the order, and better yet seek the opportunity your uniqueness is.  Whoa George sounds like you are on a soapbox.  Ok, Ok, I am.  I just want to share how important today’s lesson is.  If your current life is not fitting, please keep an open mind to the possibility of attracting or creating a life that is awesome beyond your wildest imagination.  Please keep the faith in your own individuality, and the power of a positive benevolent force, which is constantly conspiring for your good.  A big truth I discovered early on with this lesson was that anyone, anywhere, at anytime, can have a personal relationship with a positive power greater than themselves.

Be Free!

George





Opportunity

19 02 2010

“…growing beyond past traumas or fears empowers you in ways far stronger than if the event had not happened.  The past cannot impede you because you are far greater than it is.”  Alan Cohen from his new book, A Daily Dose of Sanity.  Feb 18th.

Thank you Alan.  Thank you for guiding me back to inner ancient wisdom.  Thank you for being your part in the chain of light and wisdom that has passed thru the years of humanity.  This process of being human, making the decision to live a life, the lessons we create and allow, and the process of growing expanding overcoming being more than we thought possible, is so fascinating.  I watched my mind play tricks with the lesson of this day.  I was grumpy moody and negative.  Upon first reading I felt even worse.  I was the horse shying away from ghost trees no longer in reality.   As the day grew and expanded and I completed my work duties for the month, the back of my mind kept chewing on my negative reaction to the spiritual lesson for the day.  It finally clicked open when I stopped judging myself for how much of my past I haven’t let go of yet, and starting acknowledging how far I’ve come, and how far I’ve let go of.  This is my lesson for the day.  My initial reactions to words and situations are not always the deepest shade of helpful truth.  Sometimes it takes awhile for my soft gentle spirit to whisper me back to life is ok.  Life is good, and it’s ok what reactions and judgements I have.  Like Alan points out in the message today.  The only place my past exists is in my mind and it is therefore the only place it can be healed.  One of the greatest gifts Alan has helped me to re learn in myself, is the ability to skip the dark, and focus on the light whenever possible.  Yes X,Y,Z events happened in my life and they were horrible.  Yes I could focus on reliving the pain.  OR, option B, behind door number FUN, I could focus on what I really want to create next in my life.  It actually takes less energy and I create more when I focus on increasing the positives in my life rather than taking the same energy to magnify the past.  I’ve also discovered the more I ignore the past and have new fun experiences my perceptions and life experiences shift, and if I happened to glance over my shoulder, I am different, and understand more.  I’m also an incredible strong and deep person.  I know now these gifts came directly from being challenged beyond what I thought was possible early on, time and time again.   Probably the biggest gift and gratitude I have from the past, is my appreciation for basic functions in life, and appreciation of any pleasant moment.  The more I allow myself to focuss on these simple abundant things which occur every day, I am often distracted away from others events that could have upset me in the past.  In difficult meetings I can focus my compassion on a person in a leadership position and try to remain in a heart space.  This occurs because of the pain I have felt in being angry and in my head, and seperated from connection to people.  Comparing notes with a coworker after a difficult session with a boss, I can see how much easier the experience was for me, because my focus is more on the present, and connection with the individual, not necessary their words, actions, or role of authority.  I am also grateful for the huge treasure chest the past gives me.  If things had been simple and easy, would I still be making so many profound discoveries and feeling my life deepen with people from all walks of life?  Does this condone or alleviate the pain in horrendous abuse situations that are happening now in peoples lives?  No.  But I am able to pass on hope, to those still in the firsthand situation like I was many years ago.  People used to look me in the eye, and somehow without words knew what I was experiencing or remembering and were able to communicate comfort, and a knowing trust that if they made it so could I.  This is a beautiful chain of survivers turned thrivers that exists in the human experience.  Yes we can get caught and stuck in victim mode, there is much agreement and support for this, Yes, we can also survive, overcome, thrive, deepen, strengthen, and appreciate life so much more beyond what unchallenged people can easily take for granted.

A bit wordy tonight, thanks for listening,

much love,

George





Impossible!…really?

17 02 2010

“Trust your inner guidance more than external opinions.  The voice of genius has never been a respecter of professional authority”  Alan Cohen from his latest AWESOME!!! book, A Daily Dose of Sanity. FEB 17.

When I was 17 I received a diagnosis of bipolar, manic depressive during a 5 week involuntary stay in a mental institute.  They tried to put me on lithium and I was able to convince them I wasn’t interested and to give me a chance to live without medications.  They did share with me all the depressing “facts” about bipolar, higher than average suicide, divorce, incarceration, etc.  Exciting stuff for a young adult to face.  23 years later, my fingers are in my ears, my tounge is sticking out and my tail is wagging.  I’ve never been locked up again, I’ve travelled internationally, written a book, worked professionally in a challenging career for over 12 years, made truckloads of money and circulated most of it back into life.  If nothing ever happens again in my life I can sit and grin forever.  The “professional experts” had one diagnosis and prediction for my life.  THANK GOD FOR ALAN COHEN, and other spiritual authors and teachers like him, that gave me hope, possibility and encouragement to discover the good and the gift of bipolar and the opportunity that it truely is.  Easy smooth sailing path?  NOPE.  Deepening, opening, beyond my wildest expectations better than I thought possible?  YES.  Is it possible for anyone?  I have no idea.  I have no control over how much how willing and how desparate someone is to improve the quality  of their life and what they are willing to let go of.  I do know, from the inside out, it was possible for a drunk and a drug addict like me to find a way out of hell, and into a life which is pretty awesome.    Do I have a normal life?  NOpe.  Do I enjoy a healthy happy relationship and family of my own?  Nope.  I do enjoy a relationship with my family of origin, loving supportive friends, lots of travel and adventure, and hope, that each relationship I grow in is leading me to the possibility of the kind of ahh I am interested in from an authentic union of autonomous individuals.  Bipolar has lead me on a phenominal journey of discovery.  I could be the poster child of many classic skrew ups in life.  I could also be a poster child for many miracles by the grace of benevolent spirit.  I don’t get any sales or commission from recommending any books by Alan Cohen, I do get a warm feeling in my heart each time I highly recommend anyone struggling with life, to pick up any of his books and begin a journey of opening discovery and altering the course of your destiny, it’s definitely worked for me, and I eagerly anticipate the next chapters in my life.

Big Hug,

George





An Unscattered Life

13 02 2010

“Kissing is good.  Driving is good.  Both are even better when you do them one at a time.”  from Alan Cohen’s new book A Daily Dose of Sanity February 13th.

Never a room I once left which a tornado couldn’t have organized better.  Chaos was my modus of operendi…until I got fed up with and had enough of anxiety in my life.

In Alan’s writing today he talks about a life of integrity, living in tune with where our heart, minds, and souls actually are.  One thing at a time.  I couldn’t agree more.  One of the many gifts with my unique mind I’ve gotten the pleasure of unsorting, is horrendous paralyzing anxiety attacks.  I was so focussed on learning the bipolar opportunity in my life, I just coped with the anxiety as best I could, my desire to provide my own room and board was always greater then shutting down completely, and when I did shut down, by the grace of God I was able to “come back online” in time to do the next necessary thing to keep my job or whatever I was focussed on in the moment.  After years of learning the bipolar dance, become stable in a highly paid professional job, and once again being in a relationship, my anxiety surfaced as the next big thing to tackle in my life.  The woman that I was with at the time, was the antithesis of my disorganization.  She also had very little tolerance for chaos.  A definitive case of opposites.  Being the open minded adventurer that I am, I decided to play with it a bit and see what I could come up with.  Fortunately for me my workload doubled, and then tripled, in such a manner that it was physically impossible for my people pleasing/do the right thing/take care of everything mode /was impossible.  I no longer had moments to unsort my mental self much less the physical chaos I generated around me.

Finally a circuit blew in my brain and I just sat down, turned off my computer, put a sticky note on the message light of my phone, and decided I would only work on one task at a time to completion, and completely ignore everyone, and everything else.  I no longer cared if I kept the job, or got it all done, I was only interested in my own sanity at that point.  I constantly stopped, refocussed on the one thing, and took the next step.  There were many unhappy people and a couple of times my boss got in my face.  I simply stopped what I was doing, looked him in the eye, and asked him if there was any greater priority than what I was currently working on.  I would either refocus on his bigger priority to completion, or continue on with the task at hand.  Even though I walked around in complete chaos around me, my inner life and mind was slowing down.  I checked emails and phone messages once a day, and spent the rest of my day with my hands, completing the next priority.  Slowly, through being affected by the organization and cleanliness at home with the woman I was living with, and the focus at work, I started to go through the other areas of my life.

Five years later, the energy continues.  The miracle I’ve noticed as I’ve slowed down and focussed, is I am also able to slow down and focus with people.  And this has been the unexpected gold from anxiety. The workload dropped away, and the ability to be “in to me see” with people has remained.  In fact, I’m physically still at my job, but my heart, soul, and mind has awakened to the people that I am with, and the people that I meet.  Honestly, it’s a much bigger spiritual dividend I receive by being able to be with whoever is in front of me.  As I have allowed this way of living to expand, I enjoy going to spiritual retreats and workshops for the ease of being with like minded conscious people, I also like dancing with complete strangers and long time coworkers because there is absolutely nothing that beats being focussed and present with someone regardless of the circumstances.  I’ve discovered this as my true passion.  To actually be, with whoever I am with, wherever I am.

Breathing,

George





Higher Path

12 02 2010

“I choose the path that brings the deepest reward to me and everyone concerned.”  from Alan Cohen’s new book A Daily Dose of Sanity, February 12.

Alan talks about the four choices we can make after an event occurs.  Do we wish to be retaliatory, a victim, stoic, or seek a higher vibration.  This is an excellent lesson for me today.  This effects me on many levels.  I have several different views of myself inside; modes I can slip into without realizing it.  Justifiable anger is the often the easiest mode I can slip into.  I am angry because____.  This reminds me of _____.  Therefore I have every right to ____. (and perpetuate the cycle of darkness).  In victim mode, life is hopeless, it’s not my fault so moping and crying is all I need to do.  Wandering around with my diaper full and hoping to gain enough attention so someone will change it for me.  I am also excellent at stoic or what I like to call monk mode.  I surrender to the emptiness, the calamity and the inevitability of karma.  I am therefore I live, and x, y, z events must therefore happen.  Sometimes I call it drift mode.  I can do all my spiritual practices, and know I did what I could, and then just sit back and idle by coping with life as best I can.

And now for the Bonus round.  Seeking a higher path.  With bipolar, I can actively and at times simultaneously run around in the squirrel cage of my brain in all these modes, jumping from one to another as my mood shifts.  And yet sometimes, I manage to slow down enough, get out of the spin cycle, and seek a higher path.  Yes folks, I’m here to tell ya, even bipolar can be a gift, an opportunity, and a blessing in life.  It has been for me.

A higher path with bipolar started with thanking spirit for this unique mind and gift(even though I didn’t know what the gift was yet), and then actively looking for good in the experience.

The path to a higher life with bipolar was long and ardous for me yet the dividends I keep recieving, make it all worth while.

A major root of transformation from victim to healer with bipolar has been the active study of books by Alan and others like him over the years.  From the inside out, thought by thought, which resulted in positive acts, on a daily basis.  Unwiring the “I hate life”, mode to “wow, how cool is this, I can be naturally high without any drugs or expensive workshops, and I can survive dark nights of the soul and gain the insights and grow on a regular basis.  How freeing this is.”

I observe so many people that walk or bump through life, yet never feel great pain or ecstasy transform into real life lived inside of dreams/reality, or opened up inner life to roam and express more freely the joy of life itself.

A higher path in life may not be attractive, juicy, or have all the pizazz initially, yet the deep chuckle and first hand knowing of a person served deeply from a higher act, is deeply satisfying.

at your service,

George





Keepin It Juicy

11 02 2010

How can you take what you have and make what you want? from January 6 in Alan Cohen’s new book A Daily Dose of Sanity.

Being the random energy shifting creative open being that I am, all gifts of being bipolar.  I randomly choose my daily readings.  Today, I flipped open to January 6th.

Alan talks about an extrordinary tollbooth/opera singer in Chicago.  This is what I love about Alan’s writings and teachings.  He observes the incredible in normal, and encourages me, right where I am in my life to be exactly who I am.  No need to wait till ___ occurs.  It’s ok to be me now.  In fact he has always taught me to take it even farther, how me can I be, no matter what.  I’ve discovered over the years how juicy fun it is to be me deeper, and freer.  I just watched Sandra Bullocks new movie, All About Steve.  She was a brainiac crossword developer on a mission to be with Steve.  She was attempting to become normal.  The movie of course celebrated her uniqueness, and her brains saved the day.  I like this.  No matter how unnormal I feel at times being bipolar and functioning in a “normal” world.  Thru a relationship with a positive power greater than myself, when I am down, and I ask quietly for help, I always receive a gentle whisper illustrating why my uniqueness, and extraordinary beingness, helps others.

We may not always feel comfortable in “normal” but we can always be free inside, when we take the time to listen and express our highest me.

Being Juicy,

George





A Daily Dose of Sanity

10 02 2010

A dark lonely troubled young man was given a copy of The Dragon Doesn’t Live Here Anymore, by Alan Cohen.  That young man found his way to a seminar, a weeklong program, and Alan’s other books.  What I discovered in that darkness, was the overwhelming gentle cloud that Alan is as a teacher and guide.  Almost twenty years later, I still attend his workshops, read his books, and receive his guidance.  Of all the discoveries I’ve made on my spiritual/metaphysical path, the words, gestures, and kindness of Alan, have altered the course of my life most profoundly.  No matter how much light, dark, cluttered headspace, or complete distraction I have shared with Alan over the years, he has always managed to hold up the mirror, so that I can more deeply profoundly see and appreciate listen to the wizard that I already am.  His most recent book, A Daily Dose of Sanity, is inspiring me to initiate another series of blogs.

Without the study and application of positive metaphysics in my life, my dance with bipolar would be more of a traditional label and downward spiral, as opposed to an upliftment, deepening, appreciation, and most importantly opportunity.

Todays affirmation:  As I fall in love with myself, I am in the perfect position to create a loving relationship.

This is perfect for me today.  As I journey away from a recent spiritual retreat with my teacher on life coaching, I let go of another layer of judgement about me, and let in another layer of affirmation of the beauty that I already am.  Recently I have been gently letting go a little more of a past love.  Today I tossed a favored hat/travel companion, back into the ocean, and watched the saltwater cleanse the memories, and woosh away the lingering of a memory I have dwelled in for a couple of years.  As I release the past, I am opening to the presence I have become in this time of deep solitude.  I no longer see myself seeking the perfect lover, or next soulmate, instead I feel myself relishing the soul opening that I am, and appreciate the next soul I get the pleasure of dancing with in any form it takes.  It may be brief and learning, or long and deepening.  Today I find I am ok again with the risk of loving another, knowing that I already cherish the uniqueness that I am.

This is new different and strange for me.  Instead of visualizing in advance and predesigning the next lover/soulmate/companion, I am trusting and opening to the universe to see and reflect in any form needed the next soul to play with as I circle closer and closer in the greater good.

My dose of sanity today, is to let go of my expectations, and open my soul to the next juicy opportunity of awakening.

Love you all,

George Denslow








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