Peace in Silver Clouds

17 03 2010

“Emotionally, I express love by forgiving myself and others, by releasing attachments to the past and holding hope for the future.” From the Daily Word by Unity.  March 17 2010.

As I slip deeper and deeper into a well of peace inside of me it’s sometimes easy to forget how I allowed my well within to fill.  I was so distraught by the way I perceived the world around me, so many problems in me around me, so much suffering that I saw.  I even got to the point many times where I just wanted to take on all the suffering I could and just end it all, and take the pain away with me so that no one else had to suffer.

When bipolar has high visions of possibility followed by lows of perception about the vast emptiness, it is easy for sensitive empathetic bipolars to end up with this view.

It wasn’t until I was gradually introduced to a positive view of life, that I began to have hope.  One of my roots of positivity, manifesting good, and become a person able to overflow and serve others, was Unity Church.  What I locked on to was the Daily Word publication they put out and their Silent Unity service.  I never stuck around any one particular area long enough or attended the church services very often, but I always kept a pocket sized Daily Word handy, and the 800 number to call their 24/7 365 prayer service.  I don’t identify myself as a Christian, but I do identify with their positive view of life.

My journey out of the pit of hell, was inch by inch at times but now as I look back and have forgotten and let go of so much of it, every bit was worth it, in order to appreciate the peace I have now.

Bipolar led me to the highs I didn’t understand, and through the lows that seemed to last forever.  Positive metaphysics, helped me helped myself alter my views in a way in which I can see the good in most situations and people as a mere opportunity to create what we want, and discovering what we really want, and than learning how to pass on what we have learned.

Whispering gratitude today,

George





Choosing Feeling

15 03 2010

“What you seek is being broadcast right where you stand.  Your role is to receive…  How can you look at your life slightly differently so that you are aware of more good?”  Alan Cohen, A Daily Dose of Sanity.  March 15.

I have been experimenting with this concept a lot lately.  The art of manifestation for me has recently shifted to focusing on the concept of be the feeling first, and the thing you desire will appear.  Or what do you want, what feeling do you think you will get from it, and access the feeling first.  If I can completely access the feeling first, than I may or may not need the thing or experience.

On a practical note, when I have felt “crazy” or anxious lately, I’ve switched my inner affirmation dialogue from I am peaceful, to I feel peaceful.  My previous experimentations with the whole manifestation process was to focus on tying all of the senses I could into the experience, what did what I want sound feel taste smell like so that I could be that much more inside the experience before it happened.   I have found it much quicker to simply say feel instead of am.  As I repeat this over and over my mind shifts.  Instead of trying to be I am peaceful, it shifts to body, I feeel peaceful.  Annnnd.  It’s been working.  Instead of staying in my head repeating like a mantra over and over again I am peaceful, I am peaceful, in an attempt to avert my current neurotic reaction to life, I simply affirm, I feel peaceful.  I drop into my body much sooner, I calm down quicker, and my reaction to whatever is currently bothering me comes from a different place in me.  It’s easier to see the different angles.

My journey lately has been choosing more carefully my body feeling instead of my head reaction.

feeeeeeling—grrroooovy ; )

George





Uniqutivity

7 03 2010

“I do not need to prove myself to anyone or change to fit others expectations.”  Alan Cohen, A Daily Dose of Sanity, March 7th.

Can I have an Amen to Alan Cohen today?

“…have faith in yourself and your process.  Then you will not have to tremble before God, for God will embrace you right where you stand.” , Alan Cohen, A Daily Dose of Sanity, March 7th.

Unique/Creativity= Uniqutivity.  It’s a new word day!

After they finished breaking the mold that I was brewed in they didn’t bother making a form that I could fit back into, THANK GOD!!

Here here for unique individuals that dare roam this earth seeking paths, which a byproduct is other’s cause to pause and reflect on the box.  Is there a box?  Box?  What box?

It is sheer determination to be me, no matter what, that has led me into, out of, and through so many challenges in life, and come up with so many unique solutions.  It is also what bonded me so closely to positive metaphysics when I discovered them from Alan Cohen and Unity, so many years ago.  I knew something was haywire in my brain, but I also had a belief in myself that I was this way for a reason.  It was through spiritual teachers like Alan that cheered me on in person and through written word that I was able to discover, hey guess what???  Newsflash:  Bipolar can actually be an incredible life altering ongoing daily spiritual journey.  Yes, drop the dis-order, seek the order, and better yet seek the opportunity your uniqueness is.  Whoa George sounds like you are on a soapbox.  Ok, Ok, I am.  I just want to share how important today’s lesson is.  If your current life is not fitting, please keep an open mind to the possibility of attracting or creating a life that is awesome beyond your wildest imagination.  Please keep the faith in your own individuality, and the power of a positive benevolent force, which is constantly conspiring for your good.  A big truth I discovered early on with this lesson was that anyone, anywhere, at anytime, can have a personal relationship with a positive power greater than themselves.

Be Free!

George





Divine Sips

6 03 2010

“If you want more of something, give it your attention even before it comes into full bloom.  The flower will not be far behind.”  Alan Cohen, A Daily Dose of Sanity.  March 6.

If I were to take one lesson of Alan’s so far out of this book and give it to someone in a deep pit of personal hell, this is the one I would copy, laminate and give to them.  Here is why;  My personal journey with bipolar for many years was nothing short of horrendous.  My failures, my dramas, and the constant anxiety and chaos I generated on a daily basis, almost got me many times.  It was a lesson like this one many years ago that helped me turn a very significant corner on my journey.  When I began to focus on the pinpoint of light in my life, an ok moment, a successful completion of a task, a meaningful connection with someone where I didn’t walk away feeling like the psycho, they began to occur more often.  This really is a vital and important ongoing lesson.  If I focus on all the crappy coffee I’ve been served or created, chances are, my next cup will taste awful as well.  If I concentrate on all the perfect cups of coffee I’ve ever had the pleasure of being served or brewing, than chances are divine sips are not far off.  This seems real simple, but is it?  I encourage you to find the simplest joy or moment of light and focus on it today.  If you are in a dark place, know for a moment, I am cheering for you, and chances are others who know you are as well.  How committed are we to our problems and darkness, how committed are we to allowing creating joy in our life?  Sometimes it’s as simple as what we allow our minds to focus on in the moment.

Seeing good,

George





Flip it and Dig

4 03 2010

“I march forth to claim the best that life has to offer.”  Alan Cohen, A Daily Dose of Sanity, Mar 4th.

Yeahhhh! Go Alan, Go Alan, he shoots, he scores.  Right out of the park.  Thank you.  Most excellent reminder.  Today’s lesson could probably be tattooed on my forehead.

Lately I’ve been feeling fake, saying my lines, and not really connecting with the moment.  My head has chimed in with all sorts of extra clutter and stories about the whole situation.

So I’ve been flipping it.  I feel fake___I feel authentic/real/whole.  ok that’s nice George but you are still completely in your head, it’s crowded in here.

I put my hand on my heart.  I feel real.  Breathe.  I feel safe.  Breathe.  I feel ok.  Today is a good day.  Breathe.

The present is my most powerful moment today.  Marching forth with my writing, reading and study of Alan’s new book, and completing spiritually focussed course.  Breathing, hand on heart, I am OK.

weird self pipes up, I”m Marvelous Darling, grin.

I officially give myself permission to make mistakes, to be fake, unconnected, disorientated, uncentered and blah blah blah.

I officially give myself permission to restart my day at any moment.  Breathe, place my hand on my heart, and flip my self talk into positives.

Diggin the gold in me,

George





Me, myself, and George

4 03 2010

“I celebrate their success as a harbinger of mine.”  Alan Cohen, A Daily Dose of Sanity Mar 3

Whew! A lesson I can relax around and pat myself on the back with.  I could easily prove myself wrong in the next five minutes but for now I can honestly say I’m not experiencing envy.

Envy leads me into fantasy in a negative way.  When I imagine someone has something I want, then I am believing there is something I can’t have or if only I…  Anytime I have let myself go down that road it usually gets bumpier than I like.  Victim mode, the universe is small and limited, can be so easy to slip into.  Envisioning something new and juicy in my life, anything is possible and the universe is here to help me manifest my highest good, is enthralling, especially after I proved to myself beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is actually possible.  My latest juicy discovery about what I wish to create in my life is sharing the awesomeness that I am, creating more avenues of sharing the gifts I receive on my bipolar journey with others.

we pause here as old George laughs at himself.  How arrogant and fake can you get?  “sharing the awesomeness that you are, get real dude.”

Well,  George, guess what???  If it weren’t for you believing life is good and my awesomeness is possible from the inside out, I wouldn’t be walking around in a life which is beyond what I thought was possible.

Dude, you still haven’t manifested, X,Y, and Z.  So there, what do you say about that mr big shot?

Your  right George, there are many things I haven’t manifested yet.  But since you are inside of me, why don’t you look around and see how it feels.

Uhh, yeah, I guess I see what you mean George.  It is in inside out thing isn’t it.  Do you think it is ok if I new vision my current self as part of my old self.

Yes, George, you are a genius, that is, exactly what we are being.

Quirky smile,

George





Bipolar Blend

3 03 2010

“I am here for a mighty purpose.  I remember the broader view as I take care of details.”  Alan Cohen, A Daily Dose of Sanity, March 2.

“Big picture small, betwixt the two shall meet, a walker of light dark journey, I travel to in with the Sun, I seep in the stillness of dArk.  I dance in the midst of big small connection unity, ahh the joy of bipolar blend.” George Denslow, Mar 2.

How do I capture this moment of joy?  This moment of sheer ecstasy when I feel like the joy of showing bipolar journey as GOOD, is so close.  I got goose bumps when I read today’s journey-Lesson.  I guess today’s lesson is the journey of my life, illustrating the awesomeness of the bipolar opportunity.  There is always a big picture; there is always a small picture.  Being bipolar, learning to clear my energy, honor my rhythm, and living my vision, has led to exquisite moments when I see walk around in comprehend blend dance immerse in the big/small picture.  Sometimes words flow, sometimes words would detract.  Some times the doors out of the “normal” agreed upon “reality” open and I see big small past, and potential big small future.  I can see big small in the eyes of souls all around me.   This immensity, this joy, this grandeur I have discovered scares the **** out of people who fear the immensity and power of possibility.  When bipolar blends into these moments when all assumption is cast aside for the moment, I’m higher, and lower, and inside.  These moments are what bipolar people have been painting, writing, creating, dancing, talking, and meditating all these years.  The sheer utter joy and ecstasy of open mindedness, there are highs, there are lows, and there are these times of all three blended.  Such a beautiful gift, thank you God.

Alan’s lessons, have led me to this experience and this point in my life, when I get to play in these moments more and more often.  When all is truly well, when I can see, move, act, and listen.  Big picture yes.  Big picture is what I ground in when I am high, so that when I’m low I can hang on to the rope attached to BIG me, and pull through the darkness while lost in smallness.  Smallness I use when big is overwhelming and out of control.

Bipolar perspective and experience is not all negative by any means.  It can be a joy, an immersion, and intense depth of human insight into life, our lives, and connection with loved ones beyond our wildest imagination.

Thanks for letting me play with expressing a joy in the bipolar journey,

George








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