28 02 2010

“If you knew that you would be given more of what you focus on, what would you focus on?”  Alan Cohen.  A Daily Dose of Sanity.  Feb 28th.

This one hits me right between the eyeballs, thank you Alan.  I’ve been hyper focussed on being a good host, loving my parents, and driving myself insane/sane between my ears.  I’ve been down the positive spiritual path way too many years to blame anyone for anything.  It’s all, ALL, of my own creation in partnership with a loving gentle allowing positive force in me of me and greater than me.  I hired them many years ago to play the role of mother and father in my life.  I’ve also been an adult way longer than a child.

The good of all of this has been practicing, the sh*t out of today’s lesson all week.  Witnessing myself in my head, longing for the joy and love in my heart, breathing, reading, redirecting, reframing, mini break, and alas visiting my heart for a moment.

It’s been an amazing week/journey with my folks.  They are actually incredible people that I have walked a long road with.  Many years ago I began asking questions, praying and meditating about their story.  It opened my heart hugely.  Each visit I have with them, if I am successful in breathing myself and letting myself go into the present moment, I always recieve a new pleasurable experience or moment with them.  We either have a deepening conversation, experience, or I gain some new clue about my/their past which always gives me insights into freeing up my present/future.  Yes it is always a concentrated experience for me, and just like when I go on a spiritual retreat with Alan or someone similiar, I always grow leaps and bounds.

With years of solid knowledge practise and experience that I really do create the current “reality” I’m walking around in, and that which I focuss on is busy creating/allowing my next “realities”, it transforms currently difficult relationships into growth opportunities.  The more I let go of judgement, and allow my heart to open to the moment and possibilities of connection in front of me, the bigger, and freer I feel in life, and the more time I get to be ok when I am inside my head and even more practised at escaping back to my heart when I am ready.

Smiling, laughing at my self today,


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