Letting Go, gently

5 03 2010

“The contrast can motivate you to make a new choice that will enable you to endure well-being rather than ongoing hell.”  Alan Cohen.  A Daily Dose of Sanity. March 5th

You mean when I stop hitting my head with a hammer it will feel better?  Wow.  When I stop driving down the same streets with huge potholes and getting stuck and find different streets life will get better?  Coool.  I think I’ll get today’s lesson tattooed on my arm somewhere since I need yesterdays on my forehead.  This is such a confusing lesson for me.  On an intellectual level I get it.  On a practical life lesson level, I’ve successfully used it.  On an emotional healing level, I require lots of patience and compassion with my self.

Some behaviors have been easier to let go of then others.  Some I’ve chosen to get to major crisis levels before I was willing to let go of whatever payoff I thought I was getting.  Having intellectual knowledge of an easier path, and personal experience having let go of many things, and continuing with negativity and seemingly harmless or numbing activities, can easily send me into a tailspin.  I wanna wanna wanna now, yet but I, uh, Really?

The good news is over time I have a core of healthy choices and behaviors that is expanding.   I also have a lot of compassion with anyone struggling to let go, and be easier.

*hugs self*


A Daily Dose of Sanity

10 02 2010

A dark lonely troubled young man was given a copy of The Dragon Doesn’t Live Here Anymore, by Alan Cohen.  That young man found his way to a seminar, a weeklong program, and Alan’s other books.  What I discovered in that darkness, was the overwhelming gentle cloud that Alan is as a teacher and guide.  Almost twenty years later, I still attend his workshops, read his books, and receive his guidance.  Of all the discoveries I’ve made on my spiritual/metaphysical path, the words, gestures, and kindness of Alan, have altered the course of my life most profoundly.  No matter how much light, dark, cluttered headspace, or complete distraction I have shared with Alan over the years, he has always managed to hold up the mirror, so that I can more deeply profoundly see and appreciate listen to the wizard that I already am.  His most recent book, A Daily Dose of Sanity, is inspiring me to initiate another series of blogs.

Without the study and application of positive metaphysics in my life, my dance with bipolar would be more of a traditional label and downward spiral, as opposed to an upliftment, deepening, appreciation, and most importantly opportunity.

Todays affirmation:  As I fall in love with myself, I am in the perfect position to create a loving relationship.

This is perfect for me today.  As I journey away from a recent spiritual retreat with my teacher on life coaching, I let go of another layer of judgement about me, and let in another layer of affirmation of the beauty that I already am.  Recently I have been gently letting go a little more of a past love.  Today I tossed a favored hat/travel companion, back into the ocean, and watched the saltwater cleanse the memories, and woosh away the lingering of a memory I have dwelled in for a couple of years.  As I release the past, I am opening to the presence I have become in this time of deep solitude.  I no longer see myself seeking the perfect lover, or next soulmate, instead I feel myself relishing the soul opening that I am, and appreciate the next soul I get the pleasure of dancing with in any form it takes.  It may be brief and learning, or long and deepening.  Today I find I am ok again with the risk of loving another, knowing that I already cherish the uniqueness that I am.

This is new different and strange for me.  Instead of visualizing in advance and predesigning the next lover/soulmate/companion, I am trusting and opening to the universe to see and reflect in any form needed the next soul to play with as I circle closer and closer in the greater good.

My dose of sanity today, is to let go of my expectations, and open my soul to the next juicy opportunity of awakening.

Love you all,

George Denslow

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