Sacred Roles

6 07 2010

I am brother, and son.  I consider myself to be an ancient ie: (this isn’t my first rodeo on planet earth).  If someone chooses me to be their brother or son in family of origin, and I choose them, then I chose to honor this role.

This role has consistently provided the greatest internal growth awakening opportunity in this life.  I can also accept how my constant changing, gypsy approach to life, and uniqutivity(unique + creative),  several bubbles off current “norms” in life, have been a growth opportunity for my family of origin as well.

Oh heck, let’s just throw bipolar into the mix as well.  It’s been a rather interesting two weeks.

I chose to invest my off time this month with my family.  I sat and listened to my middle sister in her cabin.   I had coffee with my dad on his porch, enjoying his view.  Spent a lovely day with my older sister, and deep a chat with my mom about life.

Today, I am actively allowing the scared parts of me release my history, because it is not my destiny.  For some strange reason, I’m the one that sits down with each member in my family, checks in, in their environment, and then goes on to visit the next.

I’m not always sure why I do this.  The mental/spiritual side of me says because of sacred son/brother honor role.   The current new side of me is impatient.  “but I wanna wanna wanna, do this this this instead”.

I guess it boils down to honoring family, role, and life itself.  Yes, I am getting to my want to’s, and yes I’m honoring my past, my roots, and whence my many awakenings have spring boarded from.

My family continues to walk their lives, in the divine direction of their choosing, and I walk mine.

I pray for them, I pray for yours,

I thank God for all the healing that is occurring in families of origin, today.


Intensity Dance

26 02 2010

“What would you be doing differently if love and harmony were a requirement for your dealings?” Alan Cohen, A Daily Dose of Sanity Feb 25

This blog will be a stream of concsiousness between my recent lessons of ongoing visit with my dear beloved parents and attempting to study understand apply todays lessons. Alan’s lesson today is about love.  The role of love, positive intention, and harmony in all our dealings.

Bridging the gap here.  I KNOW, intensity light dark cave open good dealings/bad, struggle strife, occasional ease, repeat.  I am an ancient gentle loving soul having a review of human instensities back on planet earth human body.  Even though when I read lesson’s like todays and have a hmph reaction like nice try Alan but REALLY???, I know what he describes is possible.  To be really honest I have actually incorporated love and harmony in many interactions and been quite pleased with the results so this is where I insert laugh at self.

The best part of intensity in life has been my craving for peace, love, calm, and tranquility.  Intense life lessons have actually pointed me in the direction of love.  Having and losing all the trappings of “success” several times, and realizing what truly is important, evaporates over time all the b.s. availible to distract myself from the true gift of being with people.

On one hand it is so easy to judge.  To be afraid, to protect.  Yet it is so much more fullfilling to slow down, to listen, to ask for guidance, and pray for direction.  Someone may be suffering near me in a way I can be of service.  What’s the point of working through a darkness if I am unaware or unwilling to help.

The more I’ve accepted where my father is at in his life, and let go of my smallness, the better I am able to love him as deeply as I am capable of and really want to.  So what if xyz events have occurred time and again in his life.  SO WHAT.  What if his intensity and strife in life was designed by me to bring me to peace, and know the value of peace that much sooner in my life so that I can turn around and be peaceful for him.  It’s hard for me to imagine my tenacity for peace, without the intensity of my early years.

If the level of tranquitly I get to visit and or swim in on a regular basis in my life, comes from the crazy dances, then so be it.  Life is good now, who cares?

It’s been another amazing day.  Witnessing the trauma and drama b.s. run around in my head while I make the 12 inch journey into my heart and live and love from where my soul wishes to be with them.

Thank you God for all the “distractions” in my life that have led me to love.

prayers for your loved ones,


God Hugs

23 02 2010

“If we are disconnected from our Higher Power, we are vulnerable indeed, easy lunch for every beast that lurks in the darkness…When we remember that the power of God sustains us, we can conquer anything.”  from Alan Cohen’s new book A Daily Dose of Sanity.  Feb 20th

No thanks God I’ve got it covered from here, thanks for you help, life is going well. (this is where we insert the game show elevator music as we watch in suspense while George attempts to drive his life from the front of the bus).

an enevitable undetermined amount of time later…

Sometimes occurs in a dark cave of mind, some times on the edge of a cliff(still in the mind), sometimes metaphorically over the cliff and screaming,

uh, God,   GOD,  HELP!!!!!

To be clicheical, (new word I just invented), religion is for those who don’t want to go to hell, spirituality is for those who don’t want to go back or want to find their way back out again.

Currently I’m in a bit of what I like to call a spiritual boot camp.  So far a mild experience.  My folks are visiting.  In all fairness I deeply and dearly love them and all my wars and battles with them ended several years ago, and now we are in a deep enjoyable friendship, which is totally awesome and amazing.

And….the drama and trauma which occurs is completely in my head.

It’s amazing how spiritually lazy I can get, and ignore my daily routine and spiritual practices.  In one way it’s way cool that I’ve been able to create a life in which I enjoy a lot of peace serenity pace, and activity that I can almost evaporate into and not have to proactively make myself do spiritual practices.  Naturally I do meditate, read blurbs, exercise but not purposely or forcefully, and it’s easy to let it slip.

It’s amazing how quickly when I feel a little off center or numb, I gravitate without hesitation, get up shower, gi gong, read spiritual literature, write, meditate.

It’s also so comforting to know, without the slightest hesitation, that God, spirit, higher power, is availible.

I like the call the moment I receive spiritual connectedness and physical relief, God Hugs.

Today was awesome.  I was feeling neurotic, got up did my daily routine, and now I know my day stands a much better chance of enjoying my time with my beloved parents, and not letting my head drama get in the way of discovering a story I haven’t heard from them or a special moment of connection.

Healing is possible for ANYONE, God is availible, ALL THE TIME, take it from a recovering neurotic dark hole cave dweller like myself, peace is possible.

God Hugs to ya on this awesome day,


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