Pay Attention

4 01 2015

IMG_5901These two words used to scare me as a child, I would often lose interest in the current drama of the moment, or be internally fascinated by new ideas, different points of view, usually contrary to a majority of people making decisions. I would often drift, when I had enough, or just needed a pause button.

Pay Attention, used to be a siren call/judgement handed down when I wasn’t being present to someone else’s 24/7 crisis.

I”m good at drama, really good, just wind me up and watch me go, but honestly, I prefer sipping details i’m usually unaware of;
dry leaves, skin moisture, shifting light in familiar landscapes, knowing the current temperature range from the sound of bug buzzes in the tropics or tone of squeak from boots on really cold snow in the arctic.

Bigger than that, if I allow attention to drift into these less headline areas it usually coincides with insights, which lead to healing, which leads to less generated drama.
When I’m in drama, it’s all about the drama, and paying attention to minutia is the least likely action, yet the drip off a leaf, focussing intensely for a moment on any organic item or picture, can sometimes/often, shift into big picture drift. It’s the magic of attention. Do I choose impending drama doom or fascination and openings today?

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A Course In Miracles

3 01 2015

It’s time to admit my latest sneaky technique of wiggling past my obstructive ego. I’m cheating and benefiting from it. In order to figure out how to complete the other parts IMG_5898of my audio book I decided to purchase and listen to a few of them. I got a copy of A Course In Miracles, which I have tried and failed for 20 years to read and complete, and yet so many teachers and books are based on it or use it as a core. Anyway, it was too sleepy for me to drive with so I put it on to listen to it at night when I have(correction/had) insomnia. Here is the sneaky part, ever since I play it when I’m ready to go sleep, I drift off a lot quicker, and when I do wake up, I listen as long as I can before I’m out again. I’ve been getting 7 to 8 hours of sleep a night for about a month now. I’m not sure what the rest of the course is about, but that’s a big miracle for me.

Here is the double sneaky part. It’s having an affect on my waking hours as well. Out of curiosity of what I was downloading to my subconscious every night I went ahead and got an electronic copy of the book to read as well as redownloading an ap I tried years ago with the daily lessons.

AND, I’m kinda sorta doing them, yes I know it’s all wrong and breaking the rules of the course, but yet and, I’m feeling progress.

I’m questioning my angers and judgments. Rethinking my misperceptions, and contemplating more in depth questions than I have in a long time, and appreciating this process very much.

And even though my ego continues to freak out judge, etc, I’m gently moving forward anyway, I figure who cares if I do it right or get it right, whatever that is. What if I gently skim thru, pick up what benefits I can, and then cycle thru again. It’s what I’ve done with all of my favorite metaphysical texts over the years.

Today I read about shame and judgement. Wow, that was a shot between the third eye. Big tears, moment of growth, yet grateful. What I actually read, or maybe even heard last night was about guilt and responsibility, how they are connected. By chance I read ;Alan Cohens, “A Deep Breathe of Life “ April 19th. He always explains it with language and metaphors I can understand and begin applying in my day.

Tis the season for spiritual growth in the dark, wether we run to or from it.
Happy New Year
George





Millennial Affect

14 12 2014

IMG_5739I declare a new dawn for mental health and I have become a fan of the millennial generation. I wholeheartedly cheer and admire them for many reasons:

On a personal level when I began my organic mental health journey, such words were never combined. The medical professionals at the time, authoritatively said medications or else, I have since organically lived out and or thru most if not all of their dire predictions.

I’m now a little past the middle of the pack in the workforce. Established, nothing to prove, enjoying my job etc. I’ve been given the opportunity to begin mentoring millennial’s in the workplace and I got to say it’s a real joy! When I entered the workplace, after adopting many strange ideas of spirituality, it was a typical older generation judgmental non-supportive etc.

After first hand experience witnessing how a majority of the millennial’s are as individuals; how they interact with each other, their level of integrity, I’ve got to say it’s impressive.

Another level I see is, Great Hope, for people experiencing mental health opportunities because one of the first phrases I paid attention to from millennials was when I began hearing, no judgment, wow! and it’s true.

In the midst of a crazy day, who knows what was going on inside or outside of me I’m coping with details the best I can at times, and I’m pretty hardened to the fact that the world I come from, the culture that I grew up in, and have lived a majority of my adult life, judgment was standard. I knew I was crazy outside of the box etc. yet I still was bound and determined to function, however I could, regardless of how crazy I looked and felt, because I was going to make my way in this world organically no matter what.

Hiding my “crazy”, and spiritual solutions to crazy, has been a primary society survival method. Here come the millennials, I don’t feel judgment, I don’t feel a lot of drama, I feel calmer in their presence, then I’ve ever felt with the generation that trained me. What a relief!

It’s funny, I’ve been immersed in spiritual new age culture for 25+ years, and yet my experience with coworkers under 35, and this is why i’m such a huge fan of them, I learn spirituality from them every shift, in an industrial workplace .

When I began in the workplace, a spiritual approach to mental health and coworkers, YEAH RIGHT. Yet, I adapted, learned, and became good friends, and as my mentors retire, I am relieved to know that I’ll be working with millennials, and can’t wait to see what their kids are like, until I retire.

I’m excited and relieved from my position in our evolving culture, we really are getting better at dealing with mental health, I can really see a day where we will get to bipolar order, bipolar awareness, bipolar celebration, I am extremely grateful for this and I am a millennial fan.

Thank God for all the younger spiritual gurus in our lives, we need them!





Dream On

16 10 2013

DreamOnDream On, Dream in, March in.

Soul is.

George, i gotta ask, why dream?

It is the secret cutting edge of my sobriety and mental stability.

?

But you are a goofy dreamer, weird, outspoken, I’ve never even seen you in a box much  less near one.  How does that have anything to do with sobriety or stability?

soul.

The stability, functionality and sobriety of my life, comes from a long term connection from within, and willingness to act.

Not action from chemicals, undiscerned “good ideas”, like I used to.

Actions from soul.  Yes, a bit of a rocky road to figure what is truly from within and what is ego.  Have to have trusted people to share ideas with.  Give ideas time to emulate true form.  Observe actions over time, were they really good or not.

But yes, actions sourced from soul, have produced the greatest results in my life.

The primary being sobriety.  I haven’t had to be locked up in a long time, driven my car with chemical influence, and yes i’m goofy and weird, but I have a source of income, choice of living quarters, and hobbies I care about.

Marching in to creative expression of soul, living inside out, is my coping mechanism.  I don’t have to surrender what stirs me to the bottom of an empty bottle.  I surrender to the goofy expression, original thinking, creative perspective, a sober brain has proffered.

Be

george





Too High

15 10 2013

H2OThe longer I am sober, the more creative I get in response to the question, why don’t you drink?

Lately, I’m higher than any artificial mental assistant could get me.  Too High in fact.  I had to put the air brakes on yesterday and slow my assent a bit.

It’s one thing to be bipolar, it’s another thing to sober up for many years and string together sobriety, add healthy simple living, meditation practices, daily creative expression, WATCH OUT!

Yup, I knew I might have gone a wee bit too naturally high when a simple glass of water was tripping me out.

I don’t drink or do drugs of any kind, legal or otherwise, because sober creative life is a bigger trip, than I ever experienced before.

.

Let me make that period bigger

Life is good, seek continuous sobriety, have a creative blast, be your dreams, and keep on tripping, in a really good, natural groove!

G.

P.s.  I chilled out, ate some fish, gently landed my brain, letting things getting a bit grounded before I let my self enjoy another glass of that delicious stuff called H2O.

; )





Meta-Who??

13 10 2013

MetaMetaphysics-the branch of philosophy that deals with the first principles of things, including abstract concepts such as being, knowing, substance, cause, identity, time, and space.

Metaphysics for me is the lifelong dedication to the study, and contemplation of the question why?.

Positive metaphysics for me is the dedication to what if there could be a positive inclination for why?.

Long before I had my first drink, I was always a strange child, and a strange child unknowingly dealing with intense drama, trauma, on a daily basis.

I always wandered off, any chance I could be alone, and still do.  In my solitude, I would always ask why, and contemplate positive possibilities until I felt ok and calm again, before heading back to my obligatory insanity called “family”.

So when drugs and alcohol came along, it was a no brainer, they took me much faster to not being impacted by questions.

Fortunately, I went down hard and fast at an early age, and was locked up.

Fortunately, several years later, I stumbled by accident into a 12 step group, and eventually found my way to sobriety.

About the same time, I followed a girlfriend into a positive metaphysical church.

By “coincidence”, the strange child I was, survived drugs, sobered, and found my way to other people and literature interested in why, and what if positive.

This lead to the study of mysticism, shamanism, eastern philosophies and understanding in positive terms my bipolar experience.

For me, it is all connected, of deep purpose and service.

20 years of sobriety later, I’m still strange, even more so, very much into solitary contemplation, and fortunately still wrapped up in the questions of why, and what if positive, with the added benefit of frequent fits of bliss and serenity.

George





Soul Drip

10 10 2013

Drifting Soulness,

SoulDrift          Shadows flown

ashes wept

emptied pain

Sun speaks clouds drifted

Shifted ease, new day

begins

Joy we be new,

Now.








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