Honk a bit

9 12 2014

IMG_5537Get some fish. If organic mental health is an ongoing opportunity for you, sometimes we just need to honk a bit. Let me fill in a few blanks, I’ve been digging into my favorite spiritual author and teacher Alan Cohen‘s writing lately. I came across Why Peacocks Honk Feb 14 from,
A Daily Dose of Sanity. Alan summed up his article with; how might you reinterpret your awkward or unkind acts as a call for love? How might you reinterpret the awkward or unkind acts of others as a call for love.

It’s winter. It’s peak silly season it’s high opportunity time to struggle with our mental gifts or dig in a bit, seek, find, shift into a deeper truth. I haven’t struggled much with coworkers in a while, yet it appears my ego doesn’t want to play nice in the sandbox with a new person on the job site. I find myself slipping into old mental behaviors that never served well in previous situations. So I figure maybe I just need to honk a bit, obviously this coworkers behaviors are a call for love and obviously my anger is a call for love so if I give myself permission to honk(however uncomfortably) and attempt to sit down for a chat, maybe we can skip the usual dramas.

May deeper truths free up our dance with loved ones and coworkers, this season.





Happiness Now

13 08 2010

“How could you find your happiness now by either shifting your attitude or doing more of what you love?”  Alan Cohen, A Daily Dose Of Sanity, July 26.

I think I’ve found a cure for my boss problem.  I’m paying less attention.  For years I’ve struggled with a harassment style micro manager, and I’ve let it take away from my work experience.  Because I enjoy my craft, the environment I work in, and the time off and money is great, I’ve been reluctant to leave, just because of him.   This summer I decided to spend as much time as I could outside with my body in the elements whatever they are.  Even if it’s a late shift or very long day, I’ve insisted on going outside for a bit to release the day in some way.

Today, I’ve noticed that the headspace I leased for obsessing about my boss (even when I’m not interacting with him) has shrunk considerably.  In fact I would dare say, I’ve become happy again at work, which I was for many years before he ever arrived.  This dumbfounds me because of how worked up I was about another’s behavior, yet a simple shift on my part altered everything.  Instead of giving up all the aspects I enjoy, I focused on them even more.  Wow, lucky me for sticking it out, and allowing the happiness to become more now.

Smiles,

George





Chill Pill

18 05 2010

“I seek upliftment, and find it.” Alan Cohen, A Daily Dose of Sanity May 18th

I took a chill pill three days after coming on shift and have been enjoying my time ever since.  For some strange reason I let myself get all hyper and upset about the spill in the gulf which kept me in the news cycle on my off time.   Instead of chilling out and relaxing, letting go,(it’s not like I can swim down a mile and plug a crude oil pipe)(or watching the news constantly is going to fix it any faster),  I got all wound up, during my off time.

So I come back on shift wiggy, off kilter, freaked out facing two weeks of solid work.  I had the usual bipolar feelings of being out of control, inappropriate, frustrated, and slightly hopeless.  The illusion of oh my God I’ve always been this way and always will be kicked in as well.  I even had thoughts of I can’t remember when I was last mellow and all was well with the world.

Breathe, take a chill pill.

For me, my chill pill was just the realization I had been out of tune with my daily routine for awhile and it was time to get back on my “formula”  and seek the balance.  Get up, get on my knees, ask God for help today, thank God for help getting through yesterday.  Shower, exercise, and meditate.  Eat, walk outside, drink chamomile (first cup than coffee).  Sit and read something positive and spiritual.  Think.  Write about it.  During my day I’ve paid particular attention to my breaks, i.e. where I take them, that I insist on taking them, and who I associate with.  Also at lunch one day I steered away from the crowd and enjoyed quiet time instead.

Guess what?

My chill pill has worked marvelously, I’m back in a good groove for several days now, even though I’m still at work, and lots of things are happening I must pay detailed attention to.

Peace,

George





Baby Step Change

21 04 2010

“Gradual is the way of nature.  Radical change is the way of man.”  Alan Cohen, A Daily Dose of Sanity.  April 21.

Cut copy paste.   Today’s lesson from Alan should be attached as a warning label to adventurers on the positive metaphysical trail.  Yes radical change and revolution in one’s life is possible, AND, the slow gradual process can be frustrating and depressing at times, yet long term commitment to the gradual daily baby step process of change, has yielded results in my life beyond my best projections, for years now.  When I first came across the law of attraction and other such new age concepts, I did all the instant change leaps of faith.  I quit jobs, moved, started new careers, went after passion projects with abandon.  It was an awesome and exciting phase of spiritual growth.  AND, with bipolar it was a very wild ride.

Now, I love keeping my toe in the waters of spirituality, while laughing at my story and perception of reality in my head.  Just this morning at breakfast while consuming my breakfast of late, croissant, bacon, eggs, slurply delicious, I was watching CNN discuss fat kids in school.  I laughed.  My buddy asked why?  I said I’ll probably have to pay a fat tax soon.

What?  Yep, I regularly exercise, eat right, and I also enjoy food.  This could lead to a fat tax one day if mandatory physicals ever come to light.

So he asked again why are you laughing about it?

I didn’t have an answer so I smiled, shrugged my shoulders, and chomped into another mouthful of breakfast heaven.

Some changes for me have come relatively easy or happened years ago that I now see them as easy.  Getting off drugs and alcohol in my early 20’s.  Let go of smoking in my mid thirties.

Food.  HA.  It appears to be a shock absorber in my life for the crap I haven’t dealt with yet.  With my magic wand I would whisk it all away and release the emotions or whatever it is I’m carrying around.

Radical diets have never worked for me.  Been there done that tried a majority of them.

Yet, lately,(aside from my breakfast delight), I have been letting go of less healthier foods and enjoying the all natural delights again.

Today’s lesson from Alan reminds me to be gentle with the long term or what I like to call spin cycle lessons in my life, and to be grateful for the lessons that came easy and keep paying me dividends of joy year after year.

I invite you today to pause, hold yourself, and breathe, for 1 minute, 10 or more.  Just sit, breathe, and appreciate yourself exactly as you are, mind, body, spirit, soul.

I’ll be joining you,

Chuckling,

George





Work Joy

25 03 2010

“When your work proceeds from joy, you are infinitely more helpful to those you serve,” Alan Cohen, A Daily Dose of Sanity, March 25.

I get a quiet joy from working with my hands and mind in an intuitive way to help people communicate.  In “reality”, I’m the phone guy/electronics geek.  On another level, I have a deep trust of guidance from spirit, going with the flow, and being able to see when someone spills coffee on his or her phone or radio, it’s not just that the device was thirsty; the human might be as well.  One of my joys of being bipolar in the work place exists on many levels simultaneously.  On one level I know how to fix the phone and program any changes if needed.  On another level, because of my inner swings and constant need of awareness in order to be functional and not have a blow out (like I did last week), I am usually able to perceive when someone is under duress more than usual and may just need a human to be present with them for a moment.  Often I’ll show up to fix a phone or radio, and just listen.  Maybe there is something to say, maybe just carefully listen.  I love this about my job.   I get to check in with just about everyone in my little “tribe”, and have excuses to linger for a moment if they aren’t in balance.

This is an inner joy I’ve discovered and love cultivating with bipolar.  I experience this as part of the opportunity bipolar is for our small groups that we live in.  We aren’t professional counselors, but we are skilled in being present, and able to have compassion, because of our need to pay attention to where we are inside ourselves.

Joy in the work place, can sometimes come from within, in the way we interact with our coworkers.

Hearing stillness,

George





An Alan Moment

23 03 2010

“If something can be done, I can do it.” Alan Cohen, A Daily Dose of Sanity.  March 23rd.

When in doubt, refer to step A.  (by the way this is a note to self blog)(I had several blowouts over the last week with a teacher in a class)(when in doubt I refer to the root of my spiritual path, books)(favorite Author, teacher, friend, coach, confidant=Alan Cohen)

I was a total jerk for the last 4 days.  I blew my cool, yelled, felt like an idiot, and repeated the cycle.

The good news is, I’m not currently delusional about my spiritual status.  I’ve obviously uncovered another layer of my onion that needs a healin.

As my claws begin to retract and my horns slide back into my skull and my dragon flame words begin to reside, I comfort myself with reading my teachers words.

It never ceases to amaze me, how fast Alan can cut through my crap, and help me feel better about myself, and focus on the solution.

The bottom line is, I’m scared, and I took it out on someone else in the form of anger.  Someone who was actually trying to help.  Albiet I didn’t agree with his methods, yet honestly, the guy wouldn’t be trying to teach me new skills if he wasn’t interested in helping me get through this transition in my life.

It’s amazing how uncomfortable I feel in my body after I’ve had a blow out.   I know I need to sort out a bit more what really happened.  Open my mind and heart to gain perspective, and reconnect with the instructor in a way which can rebuild the relationship.  If I don’t do this, A) I will always feel uncomfortable about this memory.  B) It will just be more fuel for dragon words next time I erupt.  C)I’ll miss the good stuff from looking inside to figure out really why I erupted.  No matter how many times I point my finger at him, it’s really 3 pointed back at some part of me, I ain’t willing to accept or deal with yet.

So I read and ponder Alan’s words today, and know, I can do this.  I can look in my heart and sort out this funky energy to do my part in repairing a currently difficult working relationship, I can overcome my fears in a new career.  I can overcome this manic/anger swing, and get on with my most of the time peaceful life.

This is how I live bipolar, a day at a time.  This is how I recover from blowouts, before they drive me into a manic rage, or avoidance depression.  I capture the little things as they happen, and do my best to quickly speak/write my real truth until harmony is once again present.

Some people I’ve raged at over the years, are not open to reconnecting, that’s ok, as long as I am willing, my energy remains positive and free to focus on being peaceful in my life, and doing my best not to create future circumstances in which I erupt in.

Thank God for teachers like Alan Cohen that help me find my way back to peace inside when I am ready.

Breathing,

George





Double Shot of Happy Please,

10 03 2010

“What gift do you offer yourself and others when you are happy in an unhappy world,” Alan Cohen, A Daily Dose of Sanity.  March 10th.

Please get a copy of Alan’s book or borrow from a friend and read today’s lesson.  It is VITAL to our culture.  It really is the gift of international relations through internal relation.  I have a dear friend Connie who is a tornado of positivity.  My cheeks ache from grinning nonstop ear to ear after seeing or hearing her on the phone because her can of whoop *ss morphed into happiness and believing in herself inside a long time ago. (She sometimes dares to argue with me about the mute point of whether it was in this life or numerous previous ones that her transformation occurred)  Anyway, she is WOW, bubbly happy motivated in motion, lights up a room.  She completely disregards the stresses and just powers on through her next positive action.  She inspires me to be a more daring me, and how much light of me can I allow others to see.

Bartender, please give me a double of what Connie is having and keep ‘em coming!

George (grinning)





Uniqutivity

7 03 2010

“I do not need to prove myself to anyone or change to fit others expectations.”  Alan Cohen, A Daily Dose of Sanity, March 7th.

Can I have an Amen to Alan Cohen today?

“…have faith in yourself and your process.  Then you will not have to tremble before God, for God will embrace you right where you stand.” , Alan Cohen, A Daily Dose of Sanity, March 7th.

Unique/Creativity= Uniqutivity.  It’s a new word day!

After they finished breaking the mold that I was brewed in they didn’t bother making a form that I could fit back into, THANK GOD!!

Here here for unique individuals that dare roam this earth seeking paths, which a byproduct is other’s cause to pause and reflect on the box.  Is there a box?  Box?  What box?

It is sheer determination to be me, no matter what, that has led me into, out of, and through so many challenges in life, and come up with so many unique solutions.  It is also what bonded me so closely to positive metaphysics when I discovered them from Alan Cohen and Unity, so many years ago.  I knew something was haywire in my brain, but I also had a belief in myself that I was this way for a reason.  It was through spiritual teachers like Alan that cheered me on in person and through written word that I was able to discover, hey guess what???  Newsflash:  Bipolar can actually be an incredible life altering ongoing daily spiritual journey.  Yes, drop the dis-order, seek the order, and better yet seek the opportunity your uniqueness is.  Whoa George sounds like you are on a soapbox.  Ok, Ok, I am.  I just want to share how important today’s lesson is.  If your current life is not fitting, please keep an open mind to the possibility of attracting or creating a life that is awesome beyond your wildest imagination.  Please keep the faith in your own individuality, and the power of a positive benevolent force, which is constantly conspiring for your good.  A big truth I discovered early on with this lesson was that anyone, anywhere, at anytime, can have a personal relationship with a positive power greater than themselves.

Be Free!

George





Divine Sips

6 03 2010

“If you want more of something, give it your attention even before it comes into full bloom.  The flower will not be far behind.”  Alan Cohen, A Daily Dose of Sanity.  March 6.

If I were to take one lesson of Alan’s so far out of this book and give it to someone in a deep pit of personal hell, this is the one I would copy, laminate and give to them.  Here is why;  My personal journey with bipolar for many years was nothing short of horrendous.  My failures, my dramas, and the constant anxiety and chaos I generated on a daily basis, almost got me many times.  It was a lesson like this one many years ago that helped me turn a very significant corner on my journey.  When I began to focus on the pinpoint of light in my life, an ok moment, a successful completion of a task, a meaningful connection with someone where I didn’t walk away feeling like the psycho, they began to occur more often.  This really is a vital and important ongoing lesson.  If I focus on all the crappy coffee I’ve been served or created, chances are, my next cup will taste awful as well.  If I concentrate on all the perfect cups of coffee I’ve ever had the pleasure of being served or brewing, than chances are divine sips are not far off.  This seems real simple, but is it?  I encourage you to find the simplest joy or moment of light and focus on it today.  If you are in a dark place, know for a moment, I am cheering for you, and chances are others who know you are as well.  How committed are we to our problems and darkness, how committed are we to allowing creating joy in our life?  Sometimes it’s as simple as what we allow our minds to focus on in the moment.

Seeing good,

George





Letting Go, gently

5 03 2010

“The contrast can motivate you to make a new choice that will enable you to endure well-being rather than ongoing hell.”  Alan Cohen.  A Daily Dose of Sanity. March 5th

You mean when I stop hitting my head with a hammer it will feel better?  Wow.  When I stop driving down the same streets with huge potholes and getting stuck and find different streets life will get better?  Coool.  I think I’ll get today’s lesson tattooed on my arm somewhere since I need yesterdays on my forehead.  This is such a confusing lesson for me.  On an intellectual level I get it.  On a practical life lesson level, I’ve successfully used it.  On an emotional healing level, I require lots of patience and compassion with my self.

Some behaviors have been easier to let go of then others.  Some I’ve chosen to get to major crisis levels before I was willing to let go of whatever payoff I thought I was getting.  Having intellectual knowledge of an easier path, and personal experience having let go of many things, and continuing with negativity and seemingly harmless or numbing activities, can easily send me into a tailspin.  I wanna wanna wanna now, yet but I, uh, Really?

The good news is over time I have a core of healthy choices and behaviors that is expanding.   I also have a lot of compassion with anyone struggling to let go, and be easier.

*hugs self*

George








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