Honk a bit

9 12 2014

IMG_5537Get some fish. If organic mental health is an ongoing opportunity for you, sometimes we just need to honk a bit. Let me fill in a few blanks, I’ve been digging into my favorite spiritual author and teacher Alan Cohen‘s writing lately. I came across Why Peacocks Honk Feb 14 from,
A Daily Dose of Sanity. Alan summed up his article with; how might you reinterpret your awkward or unkind acts as a call for love? How might you reinterpret the awkward or unkind acts of others as a call for love.

It’s winter. It’s peak silly season it’s high opportunity time to struggle with our mental gifts or dig in a bit, seek, find, shift into a deeper truth. I haven’t struggled much with coworkers in a while, yet it appears my ego doesn’t want to play nice in the sandbox with a new person on the job site. I find myself slipping into old mental behaviors that never served well in previous situations. So I figure maybe I just need to honk a bit, obviously this coworkers behaviors are a call for love and obviously my anger is a call for love so if I give myself permission to honk(however uncomfortably) and attempt to sit down for a chat, maybe we can skip the usual dramas.

May deeper truths free up our dance with loved ones and coworkers, this season.

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Happiness Now

13 08 2010

“How could you find your happiness now by either shifting your attitude or doing more of what you love?”  Alan Cohen, A Daily Dose Of Sanity, July 26.

I think I’ve found a cure for my boss problem.  I’m paying less attention.  For years I’ve struggled with a harassment style micro manager, and I’ve let it take away from my work experience.  Because I enjoy my craft, the environment I work in, and the time off and money is great, I’ve been reluctant to leave, just because of him.   This summer I decided to spend as much time as I could outside with my body in the elements whatever they are.  Even if it’s a late shift or very long day, I’ve insisted on going outside for a bit to release the day in some way.

Today, I’ve noticed that the headspace I leased for obsessing about my boss (even when I’m not interacting with him) has shrunk considerably.  In fact I would dare say, I’ve become happy again at work, which I was for many years before he ever arrived.  This dumbfounds me because of how worked up I was about another’s behavior, yet a simple shift on my part altered everything.  Instead of giving up all the aspects I enjoy, I focused on them even more.  Wow, lucky me for sticking it out, and allowing the happiness to become more now.

Smiles,

George





Computer Withdrawals

22 05 2010

“I claim my wholeness and worth right where I stand.  What I seek is inside me.” Alan Cohen, A Daily Dose of Sanity May 22.

My trusty computer decided not to wake up and function two days ago and I am experiencing withdrawals.  I realize how it has become a big part of my comfort, withdrawal at times, and form of functionality.   It has also become a means of expressing my favorite art forms of insight and writing.  So much is written and spoken about how bad computers are, yet it could be viewed as is it the user or the computer.  A computer is just a high speed calcutator we use to create info and transmit from one physical location to another.  It’s been a huge comfort for me to have an easy fucntional tool to capture my gifts and share them with the world, in my own unique timing method and space.

So when I read Alan’s passage today, I laughed at how silly I am about technology.  All the technology I seek and need is already in me.  When I sit in silence and allow myself to fill with emptiness, and then insight, all is well in my world for a time, no matter what is going on around or inside of me.  The miracle of ahh from physical stillness never ceases to amaze me.

Anyway,

behind at work, must keep earning my room and board for the month,

peace,

George





Chill Pill

18 05 2010

“I seek upliftment, and find it.” Alan Cohen, A Daily Dose of Sanity May 18th

I took a chill pill three days after coming on shift and have been enjoying my time ever since.  For some strange reason I let myself get all hyper and upset about the spill in the gulf which kept me in the news cycle on my off time.   Instead of chilling out and relaxing, letting go,(it’s not like I can swim down a mile and plug a crude oil pipe)(or watching the news constantly is going to fix it any faster),  I got all wound up, during my off time.

So I come back on shift wiggy, off kilter, freaked out facing two weeks of solid work.  I had the usual bipolar feelings of being out of control, inappropriate, frustrated, and slightly hopeless.  The illusion of oh my God I’ve always been this way and always will be kicked in as well.  I even had thoughts of I can’t remember when I was last mellow and all was well with the world.

Breathe, take a chill pill.

For me, my chill pill was just the realization I had been out of tune with my daily routine for awhile and it was time to get back on my “formula”  and seek the balance.  Get up, get on my knees, ask God for help today, thank God for help getting through yesterday.  Shower, exercise, and meditate.  Eat, walk outside, drink chamomile (first cup than coffee).  Sit and read something positive and spiritual.  Think.  Write about it.  During my day I’ve paid particular attention to my breaks, i.e. where I take them, that I insist on taking them, and who I associate with.  Also at lunch one day I steered away from the crowd and enjoyed quiet time instead.

Guess what?

My chill pill has worked marvelously, I’m back in a good groove for several days now, even though I’m still at work, and lots of things are happening I must pay detailed attention to.

Peace,

George





Attendant or Patient???

6 05 2010

“I journey from good to better to best.”  Alan Cohen, A Daily Dose of Sanity.  April 5th

I needed this reminder today.  The message in Alan’s lesson about apparent setbacks may actually be steps forward.  Lately I’ve been giving myself a lot of grief about “opportunities” that have arrived in my life.  I did a lot of research today about possible causes, what is my part etc.  Of course Louise Hays looked me right between the eyeballs and informed me of what I already knew, and I was once again amazed how a very familiar and dusty book could help me realize exactly what I needed to hear/see in me today.

So I went for a cruise on my bike in a favorite park.  Saw a big black snake, a bunny rabbit, and a plethora of tiny crabs.  I’ll look up the animal signs later.

It’s been a day of reflection, a little bit of fear, and some clear the shit shelf conversations with higher power.   Ok God…I’m here, this is what scares me, this is what frustrates me about me, and I’ll acknowledge you are a power greater then me and if anything can help me you can.  After I write this I wonder if this is unusual conversation for some people, yet I know this is not too uncommon for me.  I have a high tolerance for my own mental b.s. yet little tolerance for physical emotional spiritual pain when it manifests at a level I can no longer avoid.  Which is when I find myself realigning with truths that I know have led me to freedom (example, get on knees and share till empty then sit and allow) This is when the frustrated with me for being me kicks in.  I get to a certain point of emotional or in to me see; levels and then I run.

At this point I was grateful I took a long bike ride because I was able to gain the bigger picture of yes, I seem to have conquered xy&z lessons, yet ABC lessons in life can still kick me in the …

So I read Alan’s words of wisdom and know for this moment that even though I don’t currently see the divine outcome of all this, I know from past experience, it’s possible.

Asylum attendant/patient,

Signing off,

George

p.s. May God continue to bless us all including our quirks, habits, and frustrations.





Bipolar Vision

25 04 2010

“If you feel overwhelmed during the transition phase, shift your attention to the artist’s rendering.” Alan Cohen. A Daily Dose of Sanity, April 24th

Visionary gifts are the root of the solution for being with bipolar as an opportunity.  Raw bipolar sucks.  Bipolar with awareness, can lead to an incredible life.  The visionary phase, when the minds races the words flow the actions are animated, the dance in the effervescence of being and all is well, is a time to renew strengthen, and gather the thoughts in grounded form.  Thank God for dry mark boards, rolls of white paper and big hands to write on capture ideas.  Many times I used to fly high with bipolar, crash and burn, and stay down hard.  For many years I was so frustrated because I could see so much, and not be able to bring any of it to fruition.  This is the key to success for bipolar today:  Capture your vision.

It could be a pretty picture with camera or pencil, a song, an insight, a moment shared with friend or stranger.

If you already have captured a vision, spend a moment with it.  Look at it listen to it read it fantasize, dream, think, and better yet take a baby step action in it.

This is the key for happiness today:  Babystep in your vision.

This is the advantage of being bipolar.  Because we can be so inside of vision state, it can be our future reality, if we capture and take daily steps towards it.  Yes it is possible.

We visit vision on a regular basis, this can be a gift or a burden.  Daily babysteps release the frustration and doubt, and create the reality of it.  Walking away from our vision deepens our pain and burden of existence in emptiness.

Vision is also our reason for living when times are low.  The more we ground our current vision in daily life with ritual and babysteps, the easier our lows are to negotiate and find a way out of.

I lived years and years with no actions on my visions.  It was a pit of hell I wish never to return to.

I’ve been living in the realities of visions once hoped for many years now, do I still get down?  Yes.  I don’t however stay down as long or as intensely anymore.  And when I am down intensely, the comfort of daily life and positive ritual nurtures me through my low until I am willing to have faith and hope again.  With faith and hope the cycle of life begins again.

Bipolar is not always an easy journey.  The peaks and canyons can get exhausting, and yet the reward of focusing on our gifts is hugely fulfilling.

May your day ease into a deep gratitude your weren’t expecting,

George





Geek Cool

22 04 2010

“How might you find deeper peace by seeing the world through innocent eyes?” Alan Cohen.  A Daily Dose of Sanity. April 22

I’m not the only geek on site this week and it’s kinda cool.  After reading Alan’s passage today about the simplicity of life and how it might be easier to enjoy with less intellectual ability, I looked at the flip side.  Us geeks can get so lost into the complexity of technology, specifications, our three letter techno speek language etc.  That we totally lose touch/interest in the latest greatest social protocols.  I actually like geek world.  Believe it or not every time I create or repair dial tone or internet connection in a place that it didn’t previously exist, my geek tail wags.

When I observed the other geek at the break table this week, I noticed the others reaction to his 4mm spec custom safety glasses proper alignment of the color coded pens in his pocket for drawing redlines, and mannerism’s in language, it was so freeing.  What’s also cool about this geek is that he has made his own way into the “cool” crowd.  He plays poker with them, studied up, and actually won a shiny new safety jacket off of one of the rough and tough laborers.  He even got his current nickname(Bulldog, although word on the street is he’s trying to switch it to Cobra) put on the jacket, and yet he remains a full-blown geek with intelligence beyond my imagination.

The magic we all take for granted in being able to communicate through technology in a way is an innocent world within itself.   Because so many discoveries by geeks have been developed over so many years, it’s impossible to know it all and new discoveries can be made every day.  Like for example how exactly does the letter A get from me pressing the A key showing up on my screen thru the internet to yours.  I could put you to sleep in 5 minutes or less describing how cool I think it is that geeks figure out how to even get it from my key board to screen much less all the way to yours.

My point in all of this is, wonder and innocence can be found easily in our little worlds.  I saw my sister, a big brain CPA type, get excited about numbers once.  I have electrician buddies that I swear they grin everytime they turn on a new light switch in a room that was previously dark before they began.  They even have a saying, God said let their be light, and then the electricians showed up and made it so.

Passion, wonder and fun are easy and an exciting opportunity to find, and get found in.

When I allow myself to be in the wonder of my technical field, I lose interest in all the politics/policies and mental gymnastics of corporate and coworker busyness.  This allows me to be in a deeper peace while I work/play pending my current level of discovery/enthusiasm.

When I allow myself to be my full geekness, inspite of negative blow back in social settings, I am allowing others permission to be their inner passions more openly.

If you can read this in any other location than my laptop, smile at a geek, it will make our day/week.

From my mobile communications interface unit(laptop),

This is GEO

Signing off. ; )








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