Bipolar Angst

7 10 2013

BPAngst“We can see how people dream and succeed in life; we can also completely sympathize   with people walking the dark and lonely roads of hopeless failure.”  pg 6, Living Out of Darkness.

I wrote this in the beginning of my book about the bipolar disorder journey.  It’s an alternative definition I’ve come up with to attempt describing the big picture experience of being consciously bipolar.

Training oneself with spirituality, positive metaphysics, etc, can help understand and work with managing the mania phase.

Deep sober, prayer and meditation, can lead to expanding comprehension of human experience while physically filled with dark emotion.

These two methods combined over time to deal with the mania and depression, can lead to the conscious bipolar experience.

Conscious bipolar individuals don’t just intellectually analyze the facts of anything. We can experience first hand direct physical emotional/soul/spirit/ connection with facts and humanity. The immensity of this experience without internal or external tutelage, leads to the blow outs in behavior.

On one hand, I can/could/have, blame my family for everything,

On the other hand, knowing what I know now, about their upbringing in challenging times, the nature of the individuals that they are, combined with the in depth experience a bipolar life has allowed me, I could never blame them or me for anything.

Experiencing the extreme highs/lows, depth of life, separately, mixed, and intimately within one’s body allows an opening for healing.

When I can truly feel another’s pain, and potential, in my own body, I can also nurture hope and potential.

This is tricky.  It is the gift and burden of bipolar angst.  Do we run from the highs and lows and act out?

Do we stick around long enough to experience both?

Do we embody what we feel, and still choose conscious positive potential actions?




2 responses

7 10 2013
Sea Goddess

Yes, yes, yes. Thank you, George, for sharing gems/insights/tools in your tool box on your journey of life. Each time you quote a line from your book in your blog; I have an “aha” moment. Sharing your journey has helped me be more courageous in living my life while being me.

Your last question in this blog is exactly what I needed this morning.

9 10 2013

The “sickness” has its both positive and negative sides, as does anything that exists in the universe, there is a name for the negative effects, but not a name for the positive effects. in reality it is not a sickness but a thing like all others that has two sides. you cannot experience one, one or the other, you must experience both cuz thats how things iz. it is only viewed as a sickness by this reality because it is something whose two sides are so extreme, so passionate both at the dark end and at the bright end, it is only like all other things except intense, and this reality cannot accept intensity. they want to accept only their only sickness, which has it downfalls and its benefits, only to within certain parameters that they can ‘handle’.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: