Attendant or Patient???

6 05 2010

“I journey from good to better to best.”  Alan Cohen, A Daily Dose of Sanity.  April 5th

I needed this reminder today.  The message in Alan’s lesson about apparent setbacks may actually be steps forward.  Lately I’ve been giving myself a lot of grief about “opportunities” that have arrived in my life.  I did a lot of research today about possible causes, what is my part etc.  Of course Louise Hays looked me right between the eyeballs and informed me of what I already knew, and I was once again amazed how a very familiar and dusty book could help me realize exactly what I needed to hear/see in me today.

So I went for a cruise on my bike in a favorite park.  Saw a big black snake, a bunny rabbit, and a plethora of tiny crabs.  I’ll look up the animal signs later.

It’s been a day of reflection, a little bit of fear, and some clear the shit shelf conversations with higher power.   Ok God…I’m here, this is what scares me, this is what frustrates me about me, and I’ll acknowledge you are a power greater then me and if anything can help me you can.  After I write this I wonder if this is unusual conversation for some people, yet I know this is not too uncommon for me.  I have a high tolerance for my own mental b.s. yet little tolerance for physical emotional spiritual pain when it manifests at a level I can no longer avoid.  Which is when I find myself realigning with truths that I know have led me to freedom (example, get on knees and share till empty then sit and allow) This is when the frustrated with me for being me kicks in.  I get to a certain point of emotional or in to me see; levels and then I run.

At this point I was grateful I took a long bike ride because I was able to gain the bigger picture of yes, I seem to have conquered xy&z lessons, yet ABC lessons in life can still kick me in the …

So I read Alan’s words of wisdom and know for this moment that even though I don’t currently see the divine outcome of all this, I know from past experience, it’s possible.

Asylum attendant/patient,

Signing off,

George

p.s. May God continue to bless us all including our quirks, habits, and frustrations.


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