So What.

22 11 2009

Last summer I had a conversation with one of my sister’s about turning 40.  She summed up her experience in the 40’s as, get “it” done now, and so what.

Lately my mind has been freakin.  Going forward, going past, making decisions(no actions thank goodness).

In the middle of Mr. Freak Out’s current rant in my head one morning Mr. So What, showed up.  He is used to be called “I Don’t Care”.  But Mr. I Don’t Care, led to negativity, so I fired him, because I wanted to care more about life or find things that I did care about and focus on them.

Mr So What, just quietly said, “So What?”

Today, right here, right now is great.  The forecast looks pretty good for tomorrow.   All the freakouts and bugaboos in my head have to do with possible outcomes of which I have absolutely no facts or empirical evidence for.  But, But, But.  No facts, nadda.  No crystal balls either.

After awhile Mr Freak Out quieted down, especially when I found a fun project for him to work on.  He LOVES, details, planning, researching.  Mr Freak Out, is excellent for vacations.  So I said I would like to go camping and Kayaking, I need a campsite location, what kind of Kayak to get, and I’d like a new bike too.  Off he went with a big grin.

I smiled at Mr So What, and thanked him for helping me out today in the control room of my brain.  So what, is great because of all the very successful failures, and disasters I’ve created in my life.  Having survived a lot of worst fears scenarios, and watched the sun come up the next day with another opportunity to create something different, Mr. So What, is now a good friend.

My tool for the day in dealing with bipolar, was to give Mr Freak Out a fun project to work on, and listen to Mr So What? instead.

Breathing Deeply




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