me in cave

15 09 2009

cave is nice.  I like cave.  hmmph.  cave is comfortable.  I do cave when done with world for bit.  i see many people in cave but they don’t know they are in a cave in their head.  people avoid cave time be angry all time.  cave time get boring eventually, then I go be happy again.  sometimes I get spiritual in cave and discover gold in soul and get excited and want to share.  sometime i get lonely in cave and miss connection with people and spirit so I come out again.  I allow cave because I honor rhythm.  when I honor rhythm, I’m not avoiding anger, or creating false happy, i’m just allowing antennas to relax.  allowing input box to be closed.  enough info in, need to process.  I’m not processing info consciously while I play my xbox, but I’m aware it’s going on in back of mind.  I have to be careful in cave because it is dark, so I must enjoy myself in cave with safe activities.  tv, movies, games. comfortable.  cave is soothing.  bipolar is so extremely sensitive, so intense information processing, I need allow create time like this for myself when I have no obligations.  I like doing this after work travel or long shifts.  sometimes all I need is a day, sometimes a week.  If I allow my batteries to discharge and recharge on their own, I wake up, and I’m ok again.  I want to engage in the world again in a positive way.  When I keep struggling with the world when I’m actually a savage walking around in the cave in my head I get stupid and cause damage.  When i allow the mad man in me be undisturbed my fangs retract, my claws relax and I’m able to be human again.

“Clear your energy, honor your rhythm, live your vision,”  from my book  Living Out Of Darkness.

Caveman G



One response

25 02 2010

nice writing

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