An Aborted Launch

29 08 2009

pg 91 of my book Living Out Of Darkness.  An Aborted Launch, “My helicopter ride was in an instant storm, and I was in the passenger seat again.”

Yesterday, I was ending a trend of distraction and avoidance and started a proactive git er done mode.  I felt really good going to sleep last night because I chewed on the toenails of some current monsters in my life instead of them chewing on mine. Hmm there is a quote in there somewhere I will have to dig out later.  So I open my book today at random, and I read again about an aborted launch.

When I’ve had a series of low inactive or actively unconscious days, and I finally break the cycle, it is easy for me to instantly launch into a hyper active mode.  Often when I’m sitting and avoiding, I think about all the things I want to get done when I’m motivated again.  This is a classic behavior of mine in seasonal transition times such as now.  And today… up early three cups of Kona, four in depth meaningful conversations, ordered more Kona, sent off a gift for a favor, writing my blog, estatic about the progress I made yesterday, looking forward to continuing, checked my email, send…etc.  Get the pic. It’s not even time for 9 am break yet.


So What?


Yep.  I’ve learned over the years to be patient, and functional with my low times.  I used to judge them and go deeper.  I treat myself as gently as I can, because lows…PASS.  Thank God!

So today, I’m on the other side of the coin.  Go. Go. Go…..  So What.  I’ve methodically taken the time when I was low to plan out sift through sort out all the things happening in my life figure out what the priorities are and allowed my energy/manic gas tank to fill.

The tricky part for me today, will be to keep the “editor” on high alert in my control room for inappropriate comments, and my mellow monitor reminding me to sit and breathe now and then.

With these two concepts in mind I can enjoy this day like a white water river float, on a not too difficult river.

THANK GOD FOR Functional manic energy.





2 responses

29 08 2009

Love this. There’s a fabulous card in the Osho Zen Tarot that talks about the “so what” concept in regards to ups and downs. Since I’m not at home, I can’t quote it, but it’s really good, I promise 😉

29 08 2009

p.s. Love the bit about chewing on toenails – definitely a quote in there!

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