Living Out of Darkness — Never give up

19 05 2009

Living Out of Darkness- 20 years in the making.  108 pages.  Never give up.

A Dream, a hope, a dark night’s tears, I now hold complete in my hand.

At 17 when I stood outside the mental institute waiting for the taxi to drive me to the airport to take me home, I was empty handed.

Now what?

I couldn’t talk about suicide; they would lock me up again.

I promised the doctors I would never do drugs, and promised my new buddies still locked up I would smoke my stash at home for all of them. I did.

It was recommended I go on medications, but something inside knew there had to be a better way.

I couldn’t attend my high school graduation, because that occurred 10 days after I was locked up, it was now June, and I still had one class to finish.

My empty hand that day, now holds this book.

It is a gift to that lost, lonely, desperate kid, all grown up without a clue. Yet filled with a determination I’m so proud of.  All these years, lows, highs, darkness, dreams lived and crashed.  Dreams again and life getting better over time inside and out.

I’ve screamed into the dark night away from this book for years,

I’ve run at it with a sleepless drive.

I’ve thrown away more versions titles formats etc.

It’s boiled, burned, tortured, lived, distilled.

It’s me, my mission in life, my passion, my purpose.

We, (bipolars), are a gift.  We see and say that which is not comfortable.  We get lost in our perceptions.  We get caught up in our egos, distractions, fears, and unrelenting determination, and collapse.

We are rockets, Ferraris, shooting stars, dreamers, visionaries, troubled, healed, passionate.

I love us.

I embrace the unique determined mind that I am, to see, to say, to heal;

“Clear your energy. Honor your rhythm. Live your Vision.” George Denslow



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