Being able to feel the emotional weight of the world, the hopelessness of humanity, and sift thru the undigested scraps on the bottom of my ocean, is a powerful experience. The owner’s manual I never received for my amazing extreme octave bipolar brain now includes a set of instructions indicating it’s ok to feel the weight of the world, and this too shall pass.
Wow! Good info to know. This too shall pass, no matter what it is. For years I would let myself absorb emotional or mental hits from internal experience or those I felt connected with in whatever group I was currently interacting with. But didn’t know how to take care of myself, and allow the experience to let go when it was time. I would wallow in it for months or years before being able to surface again or an upswing would shoot me thru “normal”, and I’d feel so deprived of being happy and want to be alive again that I would keep on going into an ungrounded vision state before crashing burning, and repeating the cycle. The unconscious, un-self-regulated, bipolar cycle can be brutal.
Whew! Yes I’m grateful to live in/with a brain capable of many emotional/spiritual/mental octaves above and below the “normal” human experience, AND, I’m grateful for having personally written a plan in the form of a book, for how to be in these mental emotional states, and how to find my way back to calm when I’m ready and willing.
Today for instance, I’ve had enough of exploring the bottom of my emotional ocean, so as I took the time to write out my morning pages from the Artist Way course I realized, it’s time to pick up the dumbbells in my office and move them around a bit. I need to put on my hardhat and walk around the yard a little more, drink more water, eat some veggies, and listen to music while I drive to my other worksite, and immerse my self into a work challenge.
I’m so grateful for not having being born into a receptive environment for bipolar, because I’ve been able to learn and share these things first hand. I no longer am victim drowning in the sea of bipolar disorder; I’m a thriver, organically relishing the full spectrum experience of bipolar. And if I had a magic wand today, I would get a copy of my book to people like Catherine Zeta Jones, and offer a hug of understanding, it can be so scary not knowing there are options, and yet there are people like myself who have found a way thru, and offer life rings to the willing for creating their own way to relative sanity.
Thank you for being who you are today, exactly as and how you show up. We all need to be who we are so that the human experience is full and vital.
Hugs,
George
